


Boojums and Bandersnatches

by MrsHamill



Series: Raising Madison [10]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:42:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6036568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsHamill/pseuds/MrsHamill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...and things that go bump in the night. John turns 40 and all hell breaks loose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boojums and Bandersnatches

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler-ish warning: bad things happen. Mucho thanks to ficerrific, amireal and, of course, Susan, for wonderful ideas and hand-holding and editing. I'm to blame if you don't like it, though.

In the midst of the word he was trying to say,  
In the midst of his laughter and glee,  
He had softly and suddenly vanished away---  
For the Snark _was_ a Boojum, you see.

\-- Lewis Carroll, _The Hunting of the Snark_ ( _Fit the Eighth_ )

* * *

"Happy BIRTHday dear MAD-i-son," and John could tell he was off-key again, even considering the fifteen people present were all singing in different keys, "happy BIRTHday to YOU!"

"Make a wish and blow out the candles!" Elizabeth urged.

"Wish your Uncle John never sings again," Rodney said with a grin.

"I'm gonna wish for Nagiko to not help me blow out the candles," Madison said, eyeing the toddler standing next to her, who currently had a mouth mostly full of Jell-O. 

Radek laughed and gently pulled his daughter into his arms, where she promptly opened her mouth and dumped the Jell-O on him. 

Finally, Madison closed her eyes, took a deep breath and blew hard -- and every candle went out. The room erupted into cheers and she looked up at John, a supremely happy expression on her face. "How's it feel to be nine, Beav?" he asked, giving her a hug.

"What, are you so old you don't remember?" Rodney said. He was still grinning as if it were _his_ birthday, not Madison's. "After all, it is your emotional age."

"I am not!" John turned to Madison, who grinned back at him. "Back me up, here, Beav. I am not nine."

"Nah," Madison said, grinning wider. She looked so much like Rodney it made John's heart turn over. "More like twelve!"

Well, comments like that were made for a tickle attack, John thought, though he took care to steer her away from the cake. She was getting so big, so tall and pretty -- she looked so much like Rodney and her mother, from pictures John had seen. Carson and Jennifer said she'd be hitting puberty within a year or so and that just wasn't right. She should be a little girl for a lot longer, should still need John (and Rodney) to help her, bandage her scrapes, hug her when needed. It was totally unfair that she couldn't be kept from growing up.

And she should _definitely_ never, ever get her period. Just the thought of it made John spasm and want to join the Foreign Legion.

The party was raucous and fun, with Ronon and Jinto in a death match over Grand Theft Auto VII and Nagiko Zelenka following Madison around, like a puppy tethered to her. There were five more women pregnant in the city, but until those children were born, Nagiko had only one other young person to idolize. The Athosian kids were in the city too infrequently, and then just for classes. Elizabeth had too much chocolate cake and Teyla too much beer, and it was... fun. It was normal, well, except for...

"Any word on Carter?" John asked Elizabeth in a low voice, when he thought Madison was distracted.

"No," Elizabeth murmured back, with a soft, frustrated noise. "They haven't given up hope. Allegedly, Colonel Mitchell, Teal'c and Vala Mal Doran have divided up the Milky Way between them and are on a rampage, beating everyone up until she's found. I understand the betting is very heavy. Daniel said he's sure she's alive, and I hope he's right."

There was a rude noise behind them and John turned to see Madison standing there, her hands on her hips. Not quite as distracted as he'd hoped. "Puh-leeze. I don't know why everyone's having such a cow over it. She's fine, they'll have her back soon."

She walked back to her friends and John gave Elizabeth a look and a sigh. "Out of the mouths of petite geniuses, I guess," he said and Elizabeth chuckled.

Yes, genius still, though she'd only had three zone-outs in the last two years, the last one almost a year before. Her discipline was improving, as were her music and math abilities. SpongeBob was a fond memory now, since she'd discovered _The Simpsons_ and a couple of other shows out on DVD. John was still glad that they had no network programming and wondered how long it would be before Madison figured out a way to get Cartoon Channel to Pegasus. 

In so many ways, she was a normal, pre-adolescent girl, at least according to the advice books John kept reading. She had finally grown out of the princess phase, and black looked to be edging pink out for favorite color. She went on regular shopping trips with Sam, Vala and occasionally Elizabeth and Teyla. She had managed to read a good chunk of all the books John had, which was a feat given he was twenty (okay, closer to thirty) years ahead of her. Her latest thing was writing -- poems and long, rambling romances where the girl was always saving the guy's life, often written in grammatically correct _Quenya_. 

And Atlantis loved her, even more than the city loved John. Rodney had said that she had much less to _un_ learn than John had; her interface with the city was close to instinctual. And, now that she could 'block' it, to a degree, it could be better understood. That interface seemed to help when she was depressed, which was the downside of being an orphaned baby genius with rampaging hormones. She saw Kate Heightmeyer twice or three times a month but Madison was a little too well-read in psychiatry already -- she usually knew more about her mood than Kate did.

Not that that was a _bad_ thing, necessarily.

The war with the Ori was dragging on in the Milky Way just as the Wraith civil war dragged on in Pegasus. Atlantis didn't worry much about the Wraith attacking any more, not with five ZPMs available and more easily made. Rodney had even been making noises about building a new ship, a battleship, now that the manufacturing plants on the east and southeast piers were operable. John was trying to hold back the drooling and pleading though he wasn't doing very well at it. The Athosian settlement grew as refugees from Wraith attacks knocked on their door and asked for asylum. What were they going to say, no? Pretty soon the Wraith wouldn't have a food source at all, which just might hurry their extinction. John couldn't bring himself to be sorry over that.

The one thorn in their bed of roses was the Genii. Before John had left to collect Rodney, the Genii had been engaged in their own civil war. Atlantis tried not to take sides, but John would have done just about anything to ensure Acastus Kolya was no where near anyone. Turned out that Ladon Radim, one of the guys who'd tried to take over Atlantis during the storm, managed to emerge as their new leader. Elizabeth was reasonably pleased, as she thought Radim the lesser of many evils. John didn't care -- as long as Kolya was gone, and it appeared he was.

It also hurt a bit to not go on missions with Rodney anymore. Caldwell's prime team was Evan Lorne, Teyla, Ronon and Rodney, and John thought that was okay -- the one thing they didn't want to do was orphan Madison again. But it still rankled, even though John still got to run missions, occasionally. Just not with Rodney.

And always, there was Madison. Brilliant, adorable, devious Madison, who not only tested the bounds of parental control, she actually announced it when she did. She was actively working in the labs a couple of days a week, though _not_ for Rodney. Radek or, on occasion, Trish Liu supervised her, because (as Rodney freely admitted), they were far too much alike to ever have a stable working relationship. John wasn't too sure about that 'ever,' but it was certainly true for now.

How was it possible for a child to pick up the disposition from a person not blood-related to her? Teyla had said on many occasions that Madison had the physical resemblance to Rodney but John's laid-back mentality, at least part of the time. It might be her only saving grace, John figured. She certainly picked up the sticks (bantos rods, Teyla kept patiently reminding him) better than Rodney and faster than John. And she still liked to run with John on occasion, so there was some hope of her not becoming sedentary like Rodney could be.

The party wore down as the hour grew late, though Madison and her 'posse' of Amaly and Jalla -- her two best female friends from the settlement -- would stay up even later in Madison's room, giggling and doing whatever strange things little girls did with each other's hair. At least Madison had had the good sense to go to a real doctor when she wanted her ears pierced. Rodney had nearly ruptured something, but, as John pointed out, while holes close up, a tattoo was pretty much forever. Rodney had calmed significantly at that point.

Teyla hadn't been happy about Amaly and Jalla following suit with the piercings, but that was the hard part of culture clash. Like having an Athosian girl who'd never been to Earth singing a song from _Saving Jane_ or _Three Day's Grace_. But they were a pretty cool songs, whatever Teyla thought.

And he didn't care what Rodney said, Pink was a good role-model for pre-pubescent girls. Even if she did have pink hair and cussed a lot.

A bit over a week after the party, at breakfast, they got word that Carter had been found -- alive, reasonably intact and exhausted, but fine. When told, Madison made a rude noise, said "I told you so," and went back to eating her fried batter cakes. John shared a look with Rodney, shook his head, and got himself more coffee.

* * *

Rodney hadn't known John's birth date. It hadn't hit him until they got 'married' (something Rodney still had to put into quotes because on some level, he didn't quite believe it) that he didn't even know John's birthday -- and he was surprised to find it was three days after their wedding and that he and John were close to the same age. Rodney had been born just shy of five months after John and while he didn't exactly look forward to every birthday, he was more than willing to put up with a party and a cake (as long as it was chocolate) and any other trimmings that might be offered. And John had always cheerfully provided those trimmings; sometimes a stupid, cheesy card (hand made, as Hallmark didn't have a franchise in the Pegasus Galaxy yet), sometimes a silly present, often mind-blowing sex.

He had a feeling he knew why John didn't want to fuss with such things as birthday parties and age recognition for himself -- it all came back down to his bastard father. Rodney often wished John's father were still alive so he could kick that jerk's ass all the way to hell. 

Once they arrived in Atlantis, Rodney began recognizing John's birthday. The first one was cautious  and low-key (their first anniversary, however, went without notice because both of them had forgotten about it). The second was a bit more raucous, though still relatively small. The third, however, was a major milestone -- one simply did not let a fortieth birthday pass without suitable fanfare. Rodney and Madison threw themselves into preparations, Rodney with the knowledge that _he_ would turne forty five months later and that revenge would be sweet on John's part. It helped to keep the fun good natured, not grandiose. No black balloons and banners, no coffin filled with Geritol or any other really good gags. Well, good gags done specifically by _Rodney_.

The best way to hide a surprise party was to tell the birthday boy all about it, but fudge the details. So Rodney told John that he'd be unable to throw a party for John's birthday until the day after it -- there were deadlines to meet in the labs and he was pretty sure he'd be working late. But the day after, yeah, they'd have all their friends over the day after to celebrate it then. Madison claimed to be upset with the plan and told John the two of them could have their own party, instead of waiting. 

It worked so well that John was actually shocked as he entered the apartment, Madison standing with him, grinning ear to ear. Rodney had a tense moment when John appeared to be almost frozen in place, but then he relaxed, smiled and shook his head... and all was well.

It ended up being one hell of a good party. People came and went as their shifts allowed and by the time they managed to get the last of the drunks out, it was well past the middle of the night. There wasn't much to do in the way of clean-up, just a bunch of foam plates and empty glass containers. Madison helped; she'd been smiling the whole night, playing background music on the piano, amusing everyone and 'catering' to Uncle John (and she'd even made the two birthday cakes). It was way past her bedtime, but the next day was a rest day for all of them, something they planned for at least once a month, so Rodney didn't sweat it too much.

John caught Rodney as they passed each other, nearly finished cleaning up. "This was great, Rodney," John said, giving Rodney a kiss.

"Good." Rodney kissed him back, still smiling. "I wanted you to have a good time."

"I did." John kissed Rodney again, pushing him back against the door to their bedroom. "I think I can have an even better time soon," he murmured. 

"Oh, yeah," Rodney breathed into John's mouth. "You still haven't gotten my present to you." John had his hands around Rodney's waist and Rodney had his hands buried in John's hair and it was so good. Life begins at forty, Rodney thought. 

The kisses were getting serious until a voice called them back to reality. "EW! Eww!" Madison must have just noticed them. "Can we hold the PDAs down please? Delicate eyes here!"

Rodney rolled his eyes but didn't move away. "PDAs?" John asked.

"Public displays of affection," Rodney replied. "Ignore the demon child and kiss me some more."

"EW!" Rodney was trying to hold back laughter, as was John, evidently, even as they dove into each other's mouths again. "Do you _mind_?" she demanded.

"Yes, we do!" John replied, finally turning towards her. His reluctance to stop kissing Rodney was incredibly flattering. "Shouldn't you be in bed or designing a time machine or something?"

"Humph! Old people should never have sex," she said, crossing her arms across her chest.

Rodney and John burst out laughing. "Okay, that's enough of that," John said, pulling away from Rodney. "You're sleeping on the roof tonight!" He stalked towards Madison who shrieked and ran into her bedroom just ahead of him. 

It didn't take long to subdue the monster, especially since they let her off the hook for a bath. John managed to get her to agree to a run in the morning with him, and she promised she'd shower when they got back. The nightly baths were pretty much a thing of the past; she preferred showers and as her body began to mature, she became increasingly modest around them. Rodney would never say so out loud, but he missed the bath-play time. At least there was still kisses and tucking-in to do, which was better than nothing. Though she'd begun to read half the night in her room after lights out and neither had the heart to forbid it.

Thank God for Ancient soundproofing. They'd even tested the extent of it, and determined once the door to their bedroom was closed, no one, not even a precocious genius, could hear anything from inside. That led directly to Rodney's gift to John, in fact.

"Do you remember when Zelenka and I went over the structure of the apartment?" Rodney said, gently pushing John to sit on the end of their bed. "Before you and Ronon knocked down the kitchen wall?"

Yeah," John said slowly, frowning at Rodney. 

"We found those retractable lighting fixtures, remember?" Rodney picked up a small remote and pointed it at the ceiling of their bedroom, just beyond the bed but not too close to their closet. "So, I did this," he said, unaccountably nervous as he pressed the remote. A section of the ceiling pulled up and slid back and John's present spilled out, unwinding by design, perfectly. With a few quick tugs, Rodney got it completely unrolled and the top bar locked into place. "It's just that I... remember, you know, you wanted, that time when you said you wanted--"

"A _sling_?" John's face was incredulous as he stood and walked to Rodney's side. "You got a..." He turned to face Rodney, who had to grin at John's expression. "How? Where?"

"It was pretty easy, actually," Rodney said, relaxing now that he was sure John liked it. "This started out as a one-person hammock, and I just... added a few things, cut a few things off. And the bar is hinged, so it fits above the ceiling while the fabric is rolled up around it by a winch. A very small package, surprisingly, it shouldn't even get tangled." Rodney's face was beginning to hurt from the smile. "I found it via mail order a while back and made some modifications, like the padding behind the head, and the split, of course."

"You bought me a sling..." John's expression was the same dreamy one Rodney remembered from Cedar Point. John looked at the sling like it was his very own, personal Ferris wheel.

"In fact, I was thinking we might want to order one of them for the balcony. It'd be a nice place to sit, don't you think?"

Finally, John turned and looked at Rodney. "No. When we get a hammock, it'll be for two and it'll be strung between two coconut palms on our very own, private beach. And we'll be old and sagging and wrinkled and barely able to get in it, much less out of it." 

Rodney swallowed and his grin settled into something more than mere happiness. John leaned in and kissed him once, gently and sweetly. "I can't believe you remembered..."

"So, flip you on who gets first dibs?"

"Uh-uh, no way. _I'm_ the birthday boy, I get to go first."

"Well, you'd better get naked, then," Rodney said and laughed at how fast John stripped. He was right behind, shedding his clothing and kicking both his and John's out of the way. "Let me help you get on it, it's kind of tricky."

He hadn't had to make that many mods to the thing, mainly adding some padded reinforcement and positioning the split correctly. He'd padded the stirrups and the hand grips with Egyptian cotton and used his own height as a gauge on where to position the split. He was elated that it worked; he got John into the sling, did a few adjustments and leaned back. "How does it feel?"

"Weird," John said, testing the strength of the thing and shifting slightly. 

"Does it hurt?" Rodney asked, anxiously checking the position of John's legs

"No, honestly it's pretty comfortable. How does it look?"

Rodney took a half step back and looked. His mouth went dry and every drop of blood in his body pooled in his groin. "Unbelievably hot," he murmured. John was reclining at about a sixty or seventy degree angle, his head supported by the cushion Rodney added to the hammock. His thighs were supported by the hammock and his ankles by the stirrups Rodney had added; the cotton padding eased any strain. With his legs lifted and the hammock split open, he looked like sex itself, his cock heavy and full against his abdomen and his whole body easily accessed. "God," Rodney added in a whisper. His breathing picked up and he wanted nothing more than to drive himself home into John's body.

"Not yet, maybe later," John said, the smartass. "You going to fuck me or what?"

Rodney didn't have to be told twice. The lube was on the dresser with a pre-torn condom. They didn't always use condoms when they had anal sex, but more often than not they did. 'UTIs hurt worse than the pleasure gained from going bareback' was something Rodney was fond of repeating. Using a condom also slowed things down a bit, and there was nothing wrong with that.

Before slicking John up, Rodney stepped back between the split in the sling and kissed him, a hard, demanding kiss while he ran his hands over John's body, touching everywhere he could. "You look incredible," Rodney said, whispering harshly in John's ear. "Laid out like a fucking feast." He pinched one of John's nipples, hard. John grunted and lifted his body up, his eyelids sagging shut. "I think this was one of the best ideas either of us ever had."

John was clearly as aroused as Rodney was. "I still can't believe you did this, Rodney."

Leaning in, Rodney kissed him again. "I'm glad I did." Rodney slicked up two of his fingers and began working them inside John even as he continued kissing and nipping John's body. Every movement John made caused the sling to move, changing the angle of Rodney's penetration, giving Rodney something new to kiss and lick, making John groan and tense which started the whole thing over again.

"Jesus, Rodney," John said, his voice sounding as raw as Rodney felt. 

"Good?"

"More than good..." John arched back when Rodney found and pressed on his prostate, his movement driving Rodney's fingers in deeper. "God!" he said, nearly shouting, tossing his head back. In a quieter but no less needy voice, he continued, "More... Please, Rodney, more..."

"Nuh-uh," Rodney growled; well, he hoped he was growling, but he was so turned on he couldn't tell. "Not yet. I'm going to take my time and do this right. I'm going to fuck you so deep... I want you to remember this." Rodney pulled his fingers out and added more lube. "This is going to be one birthday you'll never forget." He punctuated his words with another hard kiss, sucking on John's lower lip, nipping on the upper. 

John opened his mouth and moaned, offering everything to Rodney and Rodney took it, sucking on John's tongue and making it sloppy-hot. There was a place on the left side of John's neck that was like a hot button, the red phone, the main event -- all Rodney had to do was suck it or lick it or run his teeth over it or even just blow on it, and John would squirm. So Rodney did, knowing that any squirming John did would simply increase the pleasure, would make the sling move in unexpected ways. To get it moving. To rock. Rocking was nice, was very, very nice. 

Suddenly, Rodney had a vision of what it was going to be like when _he_ was in the sling, when he was the one being fucked. He had to stop, close his eyes, take a deep breath and think about his mother  to keep from coming at the idea. Oh, yeah. Good idea. Great idea. Better than sliced bread or even particle accelerators idea.

There was a fine sheen of sweat on John's body and he was trembling -- actually trembling! This was _such_ a good idea. His breath sped up into panting, gasping. "Gotta..."

"Not yet." Rodney gently tugged on John's balls even as he leaned in and licked a broad stripe up John's chest, not even caring about the hair. John's sweat tasted as good as it smelled, spicy, salty. Rodney  pumped his two fingers in a couple of times before removing them again, adding more lube. "Three fingers," he rasped out, through a dry throat.

Jesus Christ, John was tight, even after years of marriage where John was the happy bottom. It was all Rodney could do to keep from just ramming himself home into that heat and constriction, into John. To distract himself, he continued to lick and bite on every bit of flesh he could reach, returning frequently to the incredible heat of John's mouth. Because it wasn't enough of a distraction from his arousal, he tried to catalogue how John tasted and felt in different areas. 

John's nipples were cold and hard, salty. Rodney knew he liked them abused, twisted and nipped so he spent some time on each before moving on. His unoccupied hand grabbed a handful of John's crazy hair and used it to turn his head, to get better access to his throat. There, John was spicy, the soft flesh coated with a barely-there scent -- Rodney was _so_ glad he'd managed to convince John to lay off the Aqua Velva -- a scent that just screamed _John_ at him. Since he was in the neighborhood, he ran his tongue around the shell of John's ear and nipped, gently worrying at one place and reveling in the noises John was making. Leaving John's ears, he moved back down, licking John's neck, his Adam's apple, and biting his shoulder. John was pretty much incoherent, sounding like the background noise of a really good, music-less porn flick.

Rodney continued to move the three fingers that were buried inside John, making sure to brush over John's prostate about every third beat. From the looks of things, it was making John even hotter than Rodney felt, and Rodney had no idea if that were even _possible_.

Rodney's fingers continued to dance over John's flushed skin, pinching, tickling lightly, stroking and petting, even as the fingers of his other hand continued to pump lazily, in and out of John. "Rodney," John managed to groan somehow, arching again, making the sling move back and forth. "God... please..."

Inhaling sharply, Rodney said, "Okay... wait... let me..." It took him a second but he managed to get his fingers out and the condom over his erection, which was heroically attempting to stand at noon. He slicked himself up and moved back to John, closing his eyes briefly at the picture of John laid out like a feast. 

"So fucking gorgeous," Rodney whispered, taking more deep breaths. He pinched one of John's nipples again, just for the hell of it and to hear John's reaction, and began to press inside. "Jesus..."

"Yeah... that's..." John's words devolved again into inarticulate whimpers and moans. He clenched hard around Rodney, arching, making the sling move and driving Rodney in deeper. 

Finally, Rodney put his hands on John's thighs to stop the movement, because it was going to be game over for him any second and he wanted it to last even longer. John just felt so _right_ and the sensation was almost more than he could stand. His basso profundo groan was a companion to John's tenor one, even as he slowed down as much as he could.

"Rodney..." John's eyes were open and Rodney could actually see how dazed they were, could see the incredible arousal. "Kiss me... Rodney..."

Leaning forward, Rodney grabbed John's head between his hands and kissed John with everything he had. The sling, unchecked by his hands, rocked back and pushed Rodney the last little bit into John, making them both cry out. The little whimpering noises John was making were driving Rodney insane, making him want to let go and start pounding. John let go of one of the handholds in order to bury his hand in Rodney's hair, tugging him even closer, making the kiss even sloppier, even hotter.

They were panting into each other's mouths, trading ownership of the kiss while Rodney tried to stay as still as possible. John managed to push away, to clench slightly, only to have the sling rock him back, driving Rodney deeper. They both gasped, and Rodney realized he was at the point of no return; he was shaking almost as much as John was. 

With one last lick into John's mouth, Rodney straightened, steadied himself on John's thighs, and began to pull out, as slowly as he could. "I... I..." He couldn't speak, it was as if the higher functions of his brain were off-line, everything diverted directly into his groin.

"Please," John said, begging, his feet and toes curling from the intensity of the pleasure. 

Before he could pull completely out, Rodney pulled the sling to himself, hard, slamming back in. He tried to shout, tried to speak but figured he came nowhere near coherency. He watched as John took his erection in hand and began to strip it, a hard, tight rhythm. That ended Rodney's ability to hold back. 

John came first, strands of come leaping up his chest. He arched back and the sling moved with him, driving his body into Rodney's, clenching around Rodney so hard it was almost painful. Taking as deep a breath as he could, Rodney grabbed the sling and used it to really fuck John. He set up a punishing rhythm, aware that his finish was right around the corner. John cried out, even more come dribbling from his erection, which was barely flagging. Rodney looked from that to John's eyes and came, so hard he was surprised his legs still held him up. 

They were breathing like they had just run a couple of marathons and Rodney was glad he'd gotten the extra reinforcement on the sling so it could actually support both of them if necessary. And it was necessary -- Rodney could barely feel his fingerips and toes, and John appeared to be almost unconscious. Happy, with a drunken grin stretched across his face, but at least halfway to passing out in manly pleasure.

"Jesus." Rodney still wasn't steady enough to stand on his own, but it appeared his language ability was back online. "That..." He let his head drop to his chest, still gulping air. 

"Yeah." John's eyes were still closed and the smile hadn't gone away.

"Might kill me," Rodney said, feeling his heart return to normal.

"What a way to go," John replied. He lifted one shaking hand and used it to tug Rodney's head to his face for a kiss. "You... I mean, I..." 

Rodney grinned as John fumbled for words. "Yeah," he said. "Me too."

* * *

John was with Evan in his office, discussing the tricky subject of keeping the scientists from advertising scoring with a marine, when Campbell's voice came over the common channel. "Med team to the 'gate room on the double!"

They traded a look and stood, hurrying to the 'gateroom. Caldwell was on the only team out, and it was just to the P34-229, where they already had a treaty. Could the Wraith have managed to infiltrate without their noticing? 

The truth was less severe and more, at the same time. Jennifer Keller was in the 'gateroom ahead of them, arguing with Caldwell who was standing oddly, on his left foot, being supported by a corporal. "You get onto that stretcher right now or I'll sedate you with a damn elephant gun!" she was saying and John didn't dare look at Evan for fear they'd both break out laughing. Keller was such a little thing next to Caldwell but John had learned his lesson about her -- she was a tiger and wouldn't hesitate to take on anyone when she needed to.

"Fine," Caldwell growled. Two orderlies had to help him and from the look on his face, it wasn't just a sprained ankle. In fact, John could see blood on his boot, which was mangled. 

"What happened?" he asked Elizabeth, who was shaking her head.

"I don't know for sure, only that it was an emergency." They all headed for the infirmary with the med detail. "I'm not altogether certain he didn't arrange something to get him out of attending their planting festival."

All three of them shuddered dramatically. P34-229 was intensely bucolic and something like one gigantic frat house, to the point of days-long celebrations of spring planting, fall harvest, longest day of the year, shortest day of the year, first snowfall, first flower... hell, they probably celebrated baby teeth falling out. Even Teyla tried to get out of going there. Where those people found time to actually grow and harvest the food they did was a mystery to John.

One minute in the infirmary confirmed Caldwell wasn't faking. When Keller came out to brief them, they realized it was much more of a big deal. "Colonel Caldwell has a high tolerance for pain but not that high," she said, "The damage is pretty extensive. To be honest, if we were on Earth, I'd be wondering if he would ever be able to walk on that foot again." He had stepped in what was apparently a long-lost trap, nearly rusted through but not so closed that it wasn't able to snap on his ankle. They had to cut the remains of his boot away and found a nasty compound fracture, the bones almost crushed in places. 

John exchanged an alarmed look with Elizabeth. "You're certain he's going to be okay?" Elizabeth asked and Keller nodded.

"We've been able to bring several Ancient devices back online and I think the prognosis is excellent. Not that it's going to be instantaneous, but we can do things better here than on Earth in a lot of ways." 

She excused herself to go back to her patient and the three of them, John, Evan and Elizabeth, blinked at each other. "Gentlemen, let's go to my office," Elizabeth finally said. It was not exactly an order, but John knew better than to disobey.

As soon as they settled, she started talking. "I think it's safe to say that Steven will be laid up for quite a while." John and Evan nodded. "I need the two of you to fill in for him. Evan, you'll be handling all administrative duties except manpower, which I think John can handle."

John nodded. "Well, yeah, and we're already talking about the interaction between military and civilians."

"And Rodney has the science staff pretty much under control. Thank goodness." John knew Evan was just as happy as he was about that -- the scientists were... well, to say difficult was a massive understatement. "Once Steven is out of surgery and not under the influence of any drugs, we'll meet with him and get a list of what's happening. In the meantime, John, I'm afraid you're going to have to go to P34-229 and participate in the planting celebration."

"What? No!" 

John's startled exclamation was met with a shit-eating grin from Evan. "I did it last time," he claimed. "It's your turn anyway."

"I'm not military anymore!" John said, but the look on Elizabeth's face was enough to tell him he was screwed. 

"You know that where the A'Pau'Lai are concerned, military or civilian doesn't matter. And they're one of our best sources of edible and medicinal plant-life, so someone has to go, and Evan is right, it's your turn." 

"But..." He really hated that gleam in Elizabeth's eye, it always led to bad stuff.

"Sorry, John." No, she wasn't.

He went for the big guns. "Rodney isn't going to like this," he said, hoping his voice was ominous.

If it was, she showed no signs of being cowed. "Rodney will get over it. Especially once he finds out it's his turn next time."

John gave in, as ungraciously as he could. "All right, all right. Let me go pack my kit," he said, shaking his head.

He called Rodney, who came through the door as John was packing, already complaining. "This is ludicrous," he said. "Isn't there some way for you to get out of it? Don't we have enough dirt on Elizabeth for blackmail?"

John sighed. "Yes, we have some, but she's got a trump card from when she caught us making out on the balcony over--"

"Oh. Yeah." Rodney flopped on their bed. "Shit."

"Yeah." John threw the last things into his backpack and zipped it up. "At least it's a safe mission. The only thing to worry about there is alcohol poisoning."

"And you are _not_ to get drunk without me, you hear?" Rodney heaved himself to his feet. "Come on, we'll swing by the labs on the way to the 'gate so you can say goodbye to Maddie."

John sighed again. "Okay."

Madison wasn't happy either. "Can I come with you?"

"Trust me, Three-M, you don't want to go. You'd be bored out of your mind."

"If the Majester starts another two-hour prayer to whatever their god is, I'm going to shoot him." John sighed. "This is one of those things where you just have to nod and smile and try to keep from gnawing on your own arm out of boredom."

"But you promised me we could go over to the mainland tomorrow afternoon, remember? Dr. Susan's got the Brahma cow giving birth." Maddie wrapped her arms around John's middle and squeezed. He kissed her forehead.

"I'll take you, Maddie," Rodney said. "I can afford to take a little time off. We can see if Teyla wants to go too."

"And I'll be back the morning after next... or even sooner if I can shoot the Majester and get away with it."

It wasn't like they were heading towards their own funerals, but that's what it felt like. John gave Rodney and Madison a hug and kiss then walked through the wormhole with all the enthusiasm of a man walking out in front of a firing squad.

* * *

There weren't any ballet classes on Atlantis. Instead, they had something better: Teyla Emmagan. Madison met with her four times a week for meditation and self-defense training. Rodney had been a little hesitant at first, but he quickly realized how good for Madison it was -- especially the meditation. There had been no zone outs, no temper tantrums (though she'd never had those as much) and no night terrors for as long as she'd been seeing Teyla. There was a definite correlation there.

He'd taken the afternoon off to fly her to the mainland, figuring they'd stay for dinner too -- he already had a bag lunch packed for them. John wasn't due home until the next day and Rodney hadn't been sleeping well, and it most definitely was _not_ because he was missing John in bed with him. He didn't know Teyla's schedule, but meant to ask  if she wanted to come along since he could take them both.

Rodney stepped inside the gym Teyla used and stood by the door, watching his niece move through her training with the sticks -- okay, bantos rods, but they still looked like sticks to Rodney. They were doing it in slow-motion, Teyla often stopping to correct Madison's stance or movement. He was pretty sure that Teyla knew he was there, but he didn't want to interrupt her training. 

Madison was beautiful, he thought with a bittersweet pride. She was growing up, was changing from the baby he loved into a young woman he would love and be proud of, and there was nothing he could do to stop it no matter how much he wanted to. Watching the two of them move, he realized they were about the same size already and that was so wrong. Like Teyla, Madison was barefoot, but she preferred a one-piece leotard thing with a big t-shirt over it. Sam, still on reduced duty from injuries incurred when she had been kidnapped, had told them she was planning on taking Madison shopping in the next month or so, mainly to get some new underwear. Rodney didn't ask but he was fairly certain that the 'underwear' included bras.

It just wasn't _fair_ that he couldn't keep her a baby forever. To add insult to injury, she looked so much like Jeannie she could almost be her clone.

They began stepping through the routine they had just worked on, moving more quickly but still not full-speed. Suddenly, Madison stiffened and stopped, her sticks or rods or whatever they were falling to the floor. Thank God Teyla was as fast as she was; she literally threw her sticks to one side to avoid hitting Madison. "Madison?"

She was only a few steps from Rodney and he nearly tripped over his own feet to get to her. Her face was blank and slack and he had a momentary jolt of terror. "Maddie? Madison!?"

"Her nose," Teyla gasped, and Rodney realized there was blood coming from one nostril. Before he could say or do anything else, Madison collapsed, a puppet with the strings cut. 

He managed to partially catch her with Teyla's help. "Madison!" He touched his radio on. "McKay to Beckett! Medical emergency in the west pier gym!" He cradled her in his arms. "Maddie, please, come on, baby, say something to me..."

"Her eyes were open until she collapsed," Teyla said, wiping the blood from Madison's nose carefully. "This is not like in the past, her zone-outs as you have called them."

"No..." She was still breathing, her heart was still beating, and he didn't know what else to do. "Maddie, please Three-M, wake up for me...?"

It wasn't much more than a minute later that a medical team, led by Jennifer Keller, came thundering into the room. "What happened?" Keller asked, gently pushing Teyla out of the way. She already had her stethoscope in her ears and was listening to Madison's heart.

"She... she..."

"She and I were sparring, half-speed, when she simply stopped." Teyla took a deep breath and put her hand on Rodney's arm. He welcomed the soothing touch and gave her a frantically grateful look. "She dropped her rods, her nose began to bleed, then she simply... collapsed."

"No trauma, no spasm of any limbs?"

"No, none of that." Rodney didn't want to let her go, but the two orderlies needed to put her on a stretcher. "I don't..."

"Let's get her back to the infirmary," Keller said firmly. "Her heart is beating too fast, but there doesn't appear to be anything else wrong. She had no dizziness, no stomach problems?"

All the way back to the infirmary, she peppered Rodney and Teyla with questions, most of which Rodney answered without thinking. No, she'd never done anything like this. No, she hadn't reported any aches or pains, even a headache, before collapsing. Yes, she'd been doing everything as usual, nothing unusual had happened except for her collapsing!

As they hit the infirmary, Teyla said, "I will see if John can be recalled." She squeezed his arm and he gave her a grateful look in return. "I shall return as quickly as possible."

Keller got Maddie under the scanner and then to a regular bed, and Maddie didn't even twitch. Carson came hurrying in, patting Rodney's shoulder as he passed. Rodney felt like a fifth wheel, unable to settle, wiping his hands on his pants repeatedly. He really needed John, John would know what to do.

As Keller put an IV into Madison's arm, Carson gently pushed Rodney to a nearby chair, dragging another one over to sit with him. "There's no visible sign of trauma or seizure, Rodney," he said, his voice low and soothing. "Her brain functionality is higher than normal but that's expected for her, we've seen it from previous scans. I need to go over everything she did in the last forty-eight hours so we can track this better."

"Carson!" Rodney was barely able to keep from shouting, to keep from shaking himself to death. 

"Rodney, it's going to be fine," Carson said, squeezing Rodney's knee. "We don't know yet what's happened, but we will. Soon. I swear." He waited a moment, looking into Rodney's face; he seemed to be willing calmness on Rodney. "There now. She's been working in the labs, was she doing so today? What was her routine?"

About halfway through Rodney's recitation of everything that had happened to Madison over the last few days, Teyla and Elizabeth rushed in and he had to start all over again. Eventually, Radek and Liu were summoned to go over Madison's day in the labs the day before. 

Eventually, time bypassed him altogether. He heard others speaking around him through a haze of words -- "sent Evan to retrieve John" "still breathing on her own" "nothing out of the ordinary" "put the EM static generator to full" "atypical catatonia" "no response to outside stimulus" "mild sedation to slow her tachycardia" -- but they didn't register, not completely. He knew he was asked questions and replied, he knew he asked questions and got answers, but he really had no idea what was said. His entire focus was on Madison, watching her chest rise and fall with her breaths, listening to the heart monitor, cradling her little hand in his. 

Carson's hand was heavy and warm on his shoulder. "Rodney." 

Rodney took a deep breath and realized he was shaking, and not completely from tension. "Carson?"

"I've sent Teyla to get you some food, Rodney. You need to eat." Carson gently pushed him into the chair next to Madison's bed. "She's quite stable. In fact, I think she's only in regular sleep, now."

"Really?" Rodney was ready to grasp at straws, any straws in a storm.

"Really." Carson looked up. "Here's Teyla now. Thank you, love," he added, taking the tray from Teyla and setting it on a nearby table. "Did you skip lunch? It's almost past dinner time now."

"Oh." He turned back to Madison, who was still asleep (she was asleep, just asleep, Carson said so). "Okay." Wait. Dinner? He realized his stomach was rumbling and he was actually getting a little dizzy, which meant his hypoglycemia was kicking in. And that was right, he thought logically, he'd missed lunch. 

But it was dinner time?

Teyla had brought him the mess hall special of the day, which appeared to be meatloaf with mashed potatoes. He picked up his knife and fork and started inhaling it. A sudden thought made him freeze in the middle of chewing and swallowing. "John. Where's John?" he asked, John should have returned by now, he thought.

Teyla exchanged a worried look with Carson. "Eat, Rodney," she said. "I will tell you what has been happening once you have done so."

The food in his mouth turned to ashes, choking him. "What?"

"Eat, please. You will need your strength."

Oh, God. No. Rodney shoveled the last of his dinner into his mouth and nearly choked getting it down. Teyla had water and coffee for him, he drained both cups and stood, turning to her, his stomach feeling better but his brain going off on unexpected tangents. "Tell me," he breathed. He knew it was going to be bad.

Teyla took a deep breath. "Evan went to P34-229 to retrieve John; he was supposed to have taken John's place in the ceremony. But when he arrived, when he went to John's hut, it was empty." It didn't seem possible to panic any further, but Rodney gave it his best shot as Teyla continued. "There were signs of a struggle."

Not possible. Simply not possible.

"The Majester and others of the A'Pau'Lai had seen nothing, noted nothing unusual."

"They were probably too hung-over," Rodney muttered and Teyla smiled sadly. 

"That is a possibility." She leaned forward and took his hand; Carson's hand was still on his shoulder, lending him strength. "John is resourceful, if he has been forcibly taken somewhere, I have little doubt we will be hearing the entire story soon. Also, his sub-cu subspace transmitter was in perfect working order, which is a good thing. Ronon and Evan are leading teams hunting for him."

"Beating up the natives and terrorizing the populace," Rodney said with a sigh. After eating, he felt better, even though he had every right to continue to be overwhelmed. John would be found. Maddie would wake up. Carson had said so. Her little hand was warm in his, and that gave him hope. "Carson said she's asleep," he told Teyla. "She'll wake up soon, right?" 

Teyla and Carson smiled reassuringly. "I think she will," Carson said. "Do you want to go home to get a shower and a change?"

Before Rodney could answer, he heard a tiny sigh from the bed. All three of them turned, and Rodney leaned over Madison's body, looking into her face, speaking in an aching murmur. "Maddie? Three-M?"

She took a deeper breath and her eyes began to flutter. "Unca Mer?" Her voice was raw and she coughed.

Rodney went to pick up the water glass and straw next to her, but his hands were shaking too much. Teyla took it from him and joined him at the bedside, leaning over. "Here is some water for you, Madison," she murmured. "Sip slowly."

Madison took a drink through the straw and then finally opened her eyes, wincing in the bright light. "Unca Mer?"

"I'm here, I'm here," Rodney said softly, cupping her cheek in one hand. "Are you?"

She blinked slowly, then frowned. "Huh?"

"How do you feel, lovely?" Carson said from the other side of the bed. He had his stethoscope ready to listen to her heart.

"Dr. Carson?" He smiled at her and her eyes darted around. "Where am I?"

"You're here, here in the infirmary, Three-M," Rodney said. Relief made his words tremble as much as his hands. "Here. Finally."

* * *

"So she doesn't remember anything?" Elizabeth said, handing him a mug of tea. He'd been drinking so much coffee the change would do him good. 

"No." He took a deep sip, inhaling the aroma. "She remembers starting the routine with Teyla then she woke up."

"What's she doing now?"

Rodney rolled his eyes heavenward as he sighed again. "She's trying to self-diagnose with the scanner, telling Carson how to do his job."

Elizabeth laughed. "Back to normal, then, I suppose."

She was smiling and it was the same one Rodney felt on his own face. It had all been successfully resolved, except for... "John?"

"Ronon and Evan are tracking his sub-cu transmitter," she said. "It's made several hops and has been masked a couple of times, but they're certain they're on the right path. You know John. I imagine he's escaped and is on the way here now. It'll be--"

"Unscheduled off-world activation!" Campbell announced as the 'gate began to activate.

They stood and headed for the command room. "Do we have an IDC, Chuck?" Elizabeth asked and a moment later, Campbell gave her a relieved smile. 

"It's Mr. Sheppard's, ma'am," he said.

Rodney's heart leapt. "I want a detail there, but lower the shield, send the acknowledgement." She looked at Rodney and smiled. "See? Everything's worked out--"

Something black and smoking flew through the 'gate to skid on the floor before it and somebody screamed. The 'gate closed, leaving it in the middle of the 'gate room, black, still smoldering. It was human shaped and sized and Rodney couldn't stop looking at it. 

"John?" he whispered.

He floated down the stairs, ignoring everyone around him. Elizabeth was shouting something, the marine detail was approaching the thing cautiously, someone was trying to push him back but he wouldn't go, wouldn't be stopped. Couldn't be stopped. He saw the ring on its left (withered, burned, clawed, blackened) hand and realized it was a twin to the one he wore, then everything went dark for a while.

* * *

Rodney sat in Carson's office, staring down at his hands and the two things in them; a set of dog-tags and a wedding ring. Elizabeth and Teyla and Carson and Keller were all speaking in quiet voices, but Rodney couldn't speak at all.

"It was hard to identify any DNA, there was such damage from the burning," Carson was saying, his voice quiet, "but we were able to get some blood trace, some of what looked like... hair..." He stopped and sighed. "What little we've seen, it's positive. The sub-cu was in the same spot as well, though it was no longer working."

"There is no doubt?" Teyla's voice sounded thick.

"No." Keller's voice sounded odd too, as she continued speaking, haltingly. "It... He... had been... fed upon."

Was it possible to smell tears? Because Rodney could smell tears from all four people around him. But his eyes were still dry.

He stood, ignoring their words, their soft touches, and left the office. Madison was still in the infirmary, Carson wanted her to stay the night just in case, and Rodney had intended upon sleeping near her. Just in case. Except Just In Case had already happened.

Somehow, some way, Rodney thought he should be inured to death in his family. He should almost be taking it for granted -- so many people close to him had died, had been gravely injured. Kaleb. Jeannie. 

John.

Madison was sitting up in her bed, chattering with the nurse when Rodney entered the semi-private alcove. She looked up with a frown. "Uncle Mer? You okay?"

No, Rodney thought, I will never be okay again. "Maddie..." Words were really, really hard to get out. "John..."

"Where is he?" Madison was still frowning and she reached out to Rodney with one hand. "Is he still on that silly planet?"

"No..." Rodney managed to lean on her bed, still holding the tags and the rings in one hand while the other gripped her smaller hand. "Somebody, someone came and... and took... they took him. Away."

"Where?" Madison's frown was more puzzled than anything, though she caressed Rodney's hand. "Do we have to go find him?"

"He..." How could he say this? He'd already ripped her life apart by telling her of the deaths of her parents, now John was... was gone... and it wasn't possible.

"Uncle Mer?" She looked down at their hands and noticed him holding the ring and tags. "What did they do? Are those Uncle John's?"

There was a numbness spreading out from Rodney's heart, threatening to encompass him. "He's gone, Maddie. He's... gone." He blinked rapidly, staring at the wedding ring.

"Gone where? Uncle Mer, what's--"

"He's gone." The numbness was actually therapeutic, it allowed Rodney's mouth to operate independently of his brain. "He's gone. He's... they, they killed..."

"What?" Madison still didn't look upset. "What do you mean, Uncle Mer?"

Fine. "He's dead. He's dead and won't be coming back."

Her frown grew more puzzled. "No, he's not." Why wasn't she freaking out like Rodney?

"He's gone and--"

"No, he's not," Madison insisted. "Why do you--"

"Madison!" For some reason, Rodney felt angry -- no, livid, furious -- and he found himself taking it out on Madison. "John is _dead_ and--"

"Uncle Mer, he's not, he's not dead. Can't you--"

"Rodney?" Teyla's soft voice barely registered.

"Madison, Uncle John is dead and--"

"No!" Madison was insistent and it only fueled Rodney's irrational anger. "He's--"

"Stop it! Dammit, stop! John is dead and you... we..."

"He's not dead!" Madison yelled over his bellow, her voice shrill. "He's not dead 'cause _I can still feel him!_ "

Everything stopped. Madison's eyes grew wide with terror and she clapped both hands over her mouth, shaking her head hard.

Rodney blinked and realized his mouth was hanging open. "What?" he whispered.

"Can't tell, can't tell, promised Mommy..." Madison was gasping into her hands. Her eyes were closed and her face was as twisted as her body wanted to be, curling up into a fetal position. "Promised her, never, ever tell, it's dangerous, never, ever--"

Rodney gently prized one of her hands away from her mouth and tipped her chin up. "Maddie? What did you say?"

Her eyes opened and she looked at him, completely distraught, her voice in a raw whisper. "I promised, Unca Mer, never tell, Mommy said not even Daddy, not even you, I can't _tell_..."

Teyla appeared like magic, suddenly across from him, tugging on Madison's other hand. "Madison," she said, her voice low and soothing. "It is fine, it is all right, you are safe. Do you remember our meditation lessons? Breathe deeply."

"Aunt Teyla? I can't," she gasped, her grip on Teyla's hand white-knuckled.

Rodney took a deep breath of his own, shoving the gibbering terror away, focusing his attention on Madison. "Maddie. Three-M, listen to me. You need to tell me what your mom said and why she said it. Please. It's very important."

"But... Uncle Mer..."

"It's all right, Maddie." He dropped the tags and ring carefully on the little table next to her bed and perched on the edge of her bed, cradling her hand in both of his. "It's important," he repeated. "Please, tell me."

Teyla was smoothing Madison's hair back from her forehead, humming quietly, soothingly. Madison was visibly calming though she was still panting, still shaking. "You are safe here," she reiterated, her voice almost a whisper.

Madison took a shaky breath and looked at Rodney, her anguish plain on her face. Her voice was still a quavering murmur. "She... she said it was, was important, I should never tell anybody, not even you, not even Daddy, because... because bad things could happen, if, if people found out. Bad people." Her voice was not much louder than a whisper as she stared at Rodney. "You know, found out about what I could do. How I could feel."

It took Rodney a couple of seconds to be able to speak. "You can feel? What do you feel, Three-M?"

She gave him a second's worth of confusion. "You. I can feel you, and Uncle John, and Aunt Teyla--"

" _What_ do you feel, Madison?" Teyla asked, beating Rodney out.

Madison shook her head and frowned, looking confused. "I can... just feel. You and Ronon... I know you're, you know, there. Inside me." She shook her head, obviously at a loss for words. "I can't, I can't explain--"

"Do you know what we're thinking?" Rodney said. "Scientific method, Three-M. Look at it objectively to categorize it." Pretending to be calm seemed to work for himself, as well as her.

She was settling down even more. "Okay, okay, yeah. No, I can't, what, hear what you're thinking? It's not like that."

"But you've known how I was feeling, before," he insisted.

"I... I... guess... I don't know how."

"Do you know where people _are_ in relation to you?"

"Um..." She thought for a moment. "No... I don't think..."

"How about distance? Can you feel... Carter? Is she one of the people you can feel?" It was a puzzle, and Madison was a true McKay about that. Puzzles were meant to be solved.

She nodded. "Yeah, I can, I always can."

"Who else?" 

"Um... You, Uncle John, Ronon, Aunt Teyla, Aunt Elizabeth," she paused briefly. "Sam, Daniel, Uncle Radek, Aunt Ewri, Nagiko... Oh, and Jinto and Amaly and Jalla."

"Not blood relation, not gene specific," Rodney muttered.

"People she loves," Teyla said softly. "Is that not correct, Madison?"

"Well... yeah. But not all of them. Colonel Steven, I like him but he's not like, how I feel about you. But I can feel him too. At least a little. You're just all... there. Inside me."

Rodney's heart was in his mouth, hope making him dizzy. "When Colonel Steven got hurt, it was yesterday early, before John left for the party planet. Did you feel him get hurt?"

Madison thought for a moment. "No, I don't think so."

"When Sam was kidnapped, she was pretty badly banged around, did you feel anything differently from her?"

She had her 'frowny concentration face' (her description and it drove Rodney crazy) on. "Umm... maybe kinda sorta? I think so, a little anyway. Kinda, kinda... like butterflies in my stomach nervous?"

Teyla drew in a sharp breath. "When you collapsed, Madison, were you feeling something happen to John?" she asked, and Rodney nearly vibrated with intensity. That would make so much _sense_. Plus, it would definitely prove John was alive and Rodney wanted that very, very much. 

Madison was completely calm, now. "I..." She took in a breath. "I don't remember, Uncle Mer. I really don't."

"But you knew Carter was alive when everyone thought she might be dead," Rodney muttered. "And you knew Mrs. Delacroix--" He cut himself off, swallowing hard. "You knew when Mrs. Delacroix died, didn't you?"

She looked down at her hands; one was in Rodney's and the other held by Teyla. "Uh-huh," she said softly.

"What did it feel like? Did she feel any different when we went back to Earth? While she was almost in a coma?"

"It was..." Rodney could almost see her brain racing around. "It was different, it was weaker," she said, nodding. "It was! I didn't really notice it. And when she, when she, you know, died," Madison's voice was so soft Rodney nearly couldn't hear it, "when she did, it was like... like she just faded out of me. It left a hole, inside me." In an even tinier voice, she added, "Like what happened with Mommy and Daddy."

Going for broke, Rodney asked, "When did you first discover what you could do? How did your mom find out?"

She looked at Teyla, who nodded gravely. "It was... after Christmas, I think, just before, before the..."

"Before the accident," Teyla prompted her, gently.

"Yeah." She looked relieved not to have to say it. "Daddy was late coming home, and Mommy heard there was a bad accident and she thought he might have been in it. She was all nervous and unhappy and stuff, so I... I said it's okay, that I knew he was okay. She kinda laughed and asked me how I knew. So I told her. I could feel him." She took a deep breath before continuing. "When he came home, I said I told you so. That night, after my book, she, you know, she talked to me. She told me I had to promise to never, ever tell anybody what I could do, not Daddy, not even you, Uncle Mer. I promised. She was so scared about it, I could tell it was important."

Rodney hung his head. "Damn. And Jeannie had called me to make sure I came over that weekend for dinner, she said she had something important to tell me. I completely forgot."

"You think she was going to tell you, Uncle Mer?" Madison asked, clearly looking for forgiveness.

"Yeah, I do." Rodney wanted to just fall over, not get up for ever, or at least until John walked into the infirmary. "My beautiful, crazy sister, whose favorite book was _Firestarter_ and whose favorite TV show was _X-Files._ "

"Conspiracy happy," Elizabeth said from behind Rodney, making him start. "You can feel your Uncle John, Madison? You know he's okay?"

"Uh-huh." She looked down and picked at the blanket over her legs.

Carson must have been just beyond Elizabeth. "We need to run the tests again," he said quietly. Rodney turned enough to see Keller with him, nodding. "We'll be right back."

Elizabeth stayed with Madison. "I've recalled Evan and Ronon," she said. "They should be on their way back now. Let me go see if they're here, yet." She kissed Madison on the forehead and gave her a smile before turning to go.

"What happened, Uncle Mer?" Madison asked, her voice plaintive. "Why did you think Uncle John was gone?"

Not willing to describe the... _thing_ thrown through the 'gate, he instead picked up and showed the tags and ring to Madison. "Because of this and a few other things," he said. "You know John would never take them off." Even the dog tags, though he was no longer required to wear them.

"Oh." After a minute, Madison said, "I'm kinda hungry. Can I have a snack?"

Teyla's smile was broad and warm and at least as reassured as Rodney felt. "Of course you may. I will fetch you some fruit and some of the Jell-O you and your uncle love." 

As soon as Teyla stepped away, Madison nearly threw herself into Rodney's arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She was still shaking.

"For what?" Rodney said, sitting on the bed so he could squeeze her back.

"For not telling, for yelling at you," Madison replied. "For not being able to help more. I wish I could find Uncle John and--"

"You've done more than enough," Rodney said, kissing the top of her head. "Because of you, we know he's alive." Thank God, Rodney continued inside his head.

* * *

Rodney, Madison and Teyla were eating pam wedges and Jell-O when Carson returned. His face was filled with anger but he didn't let Rodney stew too long. "It's not his," he said, sitting on Madison's bed. She was sitting up, cross-legged as she talked to Rodney and Teyla. "It was very, very well done, and whoever set it up is a genius -- or a madman, take your pick -- but the evidence didn't hold up. Bone and deep tissue resolved it as someone else's DNA."

Even though he knew that was going to be the result, Rodney still felt almost like passing out in relief. He dropped his head to his chest and felt Madison lean against him.

Elizabeth returned with Lorne, who looked very grim. "Carson?" Elizabeth asked.

"Not his," Rodney replied before Carson could speak. "It's not him." 

"Oh, thank God," Elizabeth said, rubbing her eyes. "Ronon is still out, but Evan has brought back something very interesting."

Lorne passed some pages to Rodney; Teyla and Carson both leaned over his shoulder to look. There were several pictures, all of John with writing in several languages offering a bounty on him. "What the hell?" Rodney breathed. He looked up at Elizabeth and saw the same puzzled rage he felt reflected in her eyes.

"Do not discuss this matter further in this venue." Caldwell's flat voice surprised Rodney so much he nearly fell off Madison's bed in shock. Caldwell was in a wheelchair and his face looked pinched with pain. Keller stood behind him, her face bland but Rodney could tell, she was angry.

"What?"

"Just what I said, Dr. McKay." His voice was still harsh but very, very soft. "It's not paranoia when they really are after you." He looked up at Carson. "Can we have a secure area? Just for this group here?"

"You ought to be in bed, Colonel," Carson said with a sigh. He glanced at Keller. "Isolation three?"

"Yeah." She stepped away as Carson turned the wheelchair.

"Can I come too?" Madison asked, and Rodney didn't have the heart to refuse her.

Isolation three was the smallest of the med labs. It wasn't used much, but it had enough room for all of them. On the way there, Caldwell said, "Elizabeth, can you have Dex report here as soon as he returns?"

"Of course," she replied. She gave Rodney a mystified look, but contacted Campbell with the instructions. He also heard her order another detail to the 'gateroom for security.

Once they were all in the room, Madison and Teyla boosted themselves onto one of the beds and Madison leaned into Teyla, who hugged her. Rodney leaned against one of the testing tables, close enough to Madison to touch her.

"I've been pestering Jennifer for updates since Sheppard went missing," Caldwell began. It looked like he was trying to find a comfortable way to sit -- trying and failing. His leg was elevated and his ankle encased in a complicated and painful-looking device. "When I found out what had been sent to us, I started getting suspicious -- what Major Lorne found has cemented the idea. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a mole problem."

Madison and Teyla looked puzzled at everyone else's shock reaction. "A what?" Madison asked.

"A... spy. Someone who isn't on our side and here? Steven, are you sure?" Elizabeth's face had gone pale.

"No, I'm not sure, though this isn't the first time I've suspected it."

She gave him an incredulous look. "It would have been nice to know!"

"Elizabeth, there was nothing I could tell you. Gut feelings are hardly actionable items." He rubbed his head and tried to shift again, grimacing. "There're just too many variables, here."

Rodney frowned, his mind still reeling from the word 'mole.' He thought only people in Grisham novels spoke like that. "What?"

"Clearly, someone wants Sheppard," he said, indicating the sheets Rodney still held. "They set me up to get me off P34-229 so someone else had to take my place. How would they know Sheppard would be coming?"

Elizabeth swallowed hard. "It doesn't mean the, the mole is here, though, it could be on P34-229."

"Yes, that's true." Caldwell sighed. "Except last week, when we needed to go to M5X-902 on a covert mission. We were waylaid and I nearly lost the entire squad."

"Oh my God," Elizabeth murmured.

Lorne had taken station at the door and opened it slightly at a knock. It was Ronon. "What the--" He interrupted himself as he saw Madison. "Are you okay?" he demanded. He'd known about Madison's collapse and Rodney thought he'd come by the infirmary while she was out, but couldn't really remember clearly.

Madison smiled and turned to hug him. "I'm okay. But somebody's got Uncle John, Ronon. You need to find him."

"That's what I've been trying to do," he growled. "So why was I told he was dead, about his body pitched here through the Ring?"

"Not him," Rodney said quickly, reassuring himself as much as anyone else. 

"The thing that was thrown in was seeded very carefully with his DNA," Keller said. "Cursory examination showed it was clearly him, especially with the additions of dog-tags and his ring. It would have been enough that we wouldn't have looked further, except for Maddie." She smiled and Madison smiled back, not quite so tentative as before.

"I've seen a lot more of those pictures," Ronon said, indicating the sheets Rodney held. "And I've been chasing his sub-cu all over the place before it stopped working or got shielded or--"

"It was buried in the burned thing, broken," Rodney said, nodding. "What else did you find?"

Ronon's face was harder than Rodney ever remembered. "A lot of things, a lot of people and some who now have broken bones or worse. But I think I know what happened, who took him."

"Let me guess," Caldwell said, in a tired voice. "The Genii."

"Almost. Not _the_ Genii. One Genii."

Rodney's mouth went dry. "Kolya."

Ronon gave him a long look. "Yeah. That's the name everybody told me. Is he the one I read about, from a couple years back, before I got here?"

"Yeah," Rodney whispered.

* * *

John woke up shivering with cold. At first he tried to grope around for the blankets, thinking McKay had hogged them again. It took a couple of tries to realize he wasn't in bed, didn't have blankets, and wasn't wearing any clothing. Only as an afterthought did he realize he also was on a cold, rough, concrete floor.

When he tried to move, he had to bite back a scream -- something was terribly wrong with his leg, something really bad if it hurt that much.

"Ah. I see you're awake."

Oh, shit. John let his head thunk back to the concrete, which was when he discovered he also had no hair on his head. "Ow," he muttered.

"The pain you feel in your leg is because your left thigh-bone has been broken. We didn't want to take any chances that you might try to escape. It's splinted, of course, we're not barbarians."

"So very civilized of you." John could barely feel the rough pieces of... something, wood? ... bracing his upper left thigh. He suspected the cold was keeping him from feeling anything else. His hands were tied in front of him with rough cord.

"We don't want to kill you... not soon, anyway."

"I should have killed _you_ when I had the chance."

"Yes. You should have. "

Taking long, slow, deep breaths and thinking about Teyla's meditation lessons, John said, "And I expected _points_ for that, you bastard. How the hell did you get me, anyway?"

"To capture an extraordinary soldier, one uses extraordinary means." He hesitated slightly before continuing. "Oh, yes, sorry, you're no longer a soldier, are you?"

John gingerly rolled to one side so he could look at that rat bastard. It hurt like hell, but gave him the advantage of being able to look around the room better. The room which was nothing more than a dank, cold prison cell, without a bed or even a urinal. "Maybe not, but I still know how to kill a rat. You're a dead man, Kolya."

Kolya was crouching just out of John's reach and smiling, that half-smirk that John really wanted to shoot off. "I don't think so, actually. Your time is up, Sheppard, at least to everyone else. We will feed you and give you enough water to stay alive, but we have plans for you. Experimental plans."

_Experimental_? "What the hell are you talking about?"

"We used to have our own pet Wraith here." Kolya's voice was bland and thoughtful and John wanted to ram his fist down the bastard's throat to stop it. "We did experiments on it, at first, trying to figure out ways to kill it. Once it was weak enough, we discovered we could control it, so we could use it to interrogate people. And as a punishment."

"You really have gone batshit insane, haven't you?" John tried like hell to figure out a way to move without hurting or making himself worse off, but couldn't come up with one. He was so cold he couldn't feel his toes.

Kolya continued talking as if he hadn't heard John. "I'm sure it won't be long before we can capture another one. The problem, though, is they have to be almost starved in order to be of any use to us. You can't control them, otherwise. And doing so takes time." He rubbed his chin. "Dr. Athor discovered that. He's the one who has done the most work on the Wraith, figuring out how to torture them, how to get them to do our bidding. He's no Beckett, of course, but there's nothing wrong with that. You'll be meeting him soon."

John closed his eyes and thought about ramming a cattle-prod down Kolya's throat. "You fucked up piece of shit," he ground out. "I am going to--"

"The only thing you will be doing, Sheppard, is screaming in pain, something I admit to be looking forward to hearing." He stood and brushed off his pants. "I advise you to get comfortable, as you'll be staying here for some time."

John's reply was to snort in disbelief. Carefully.

"Oh yes, your vaunted 'leave no one behind' philosophy." Kolya chuckled. "You're not going to be left behind, Sheppard. You're dead and they've already got your body. Dr. Athor is skilled at masking... what do you call it? DNA? He can make any corpse look like and test like anyone he wants. It's why you have no hair and a large bruise on your arm where we took blood." He smiled and it wasn't a nice smile, not at all. "You're already dead to them, Sheppard. Even to Dr. McKay and that precious little girl."

His guts twisting, his head and leg throbbing, all John could snarl was, "You touch either of them and I will personally see to it you are taken to the hottest part of hell." Kolya must have thought that was amusing, because he almost chuckled as he left the room, closing the door behind him. "Kolya! I will _end_ you!" John bellowed, holding back a groan as his leg spasmed.

The door slamming gave him shivers, though that might have been the cold. When it opened again, some time later, several large people and a man in a bloody shirt who looked to be completely insane came in and started doing things to him, with him. He managed to keep from screaming, though he wasn't sure how. It was a point of pride, he figured. He wouldn't give anyone, especially not Kolya, the satisfaction.

Back in a small part of his brain he had a program on endless loop -- Rodney will find me. Rodney will find me. Rodney will figure it out.

He might not be _alive_ when Rodney found him, but Rodney would find him. Eventually.

* * *

"So, this Kolya," Ronon said. It was late and the people Rodney had come to think of as his own, private security group had moved to the apartment, minus Caldwell and Keller. Madison was falling asleep on Teyla's shoulder and Rodney had already swept the room for any kind of listening device. "He was the one who tried to take Atlantis, right?"

"Yeah." Rodney really didn't want to talk about or even remember that horrible time. "And we ran into him later, too, about... I don't know, six months before we met you? John didn't kill him there, either." Silently, Rodney snarled, he should have.

"Yeah, I read the mission reports." In Ronon's eyes, Rodney saw the same fury he felt.

"We've got two problems here, people," Elizabeth said. She looked pretty much the way Rodney felt -- dreadful, like she hadn't been sleeping. "One is finding John and the other is finding the leak -- if it does, indeed exist." She glanced around. "Any disagreements?"

"No, I think you have stated the case properly, Elizabeth," Teyla said smiling down at Madison's head on her shoulder. 

"We need to break up into two teams," Lorne said. "One for home and the other off-planet. But if there is a leak, we can't let whoever it is know that we know Sheppard's alive."

Ronon the normally taciturn said, "I think you and McKay need to have a screaming match, Elizabeth," Ronon said. Rodney couldn't ever remember Ronon speaking so much, but was grateful to be able to rely on his expertise.

Elizabeth blinked at him in shock. "We do?"

"Yeah..." Rodney wasn't so tired that he couldn't figure that out. "If John were... I mean, we'd be planning stuff, right? A memorial. Or something." Not that he really wanted to discuss such a thing.

"Oh." Elizabeth might be tired too, but her brain still worked. "One of us to insist and the other to resist?"

"Yeah." Ronon looked between them. "Pick a side and have it by midday tomorrow."

"If there is indeed a leak, then the person has access to the 'gate, somehow. Someone who goes on missions." Lorne said, before staring at Ronon for a good minute. Rodney let them plan, let them take the lead because he knew the two of them were John's best chance, last hope. "I'll take internal, go over the rosters."

"Is there a way to know if someone sends messages through the ring when it's activated?"

Lorne glanced at Rodney, who was nodding slowly at Ronon's words. "Yeah, there can be, and I think it might be worth setting that trap," Lorne said. He had a cold look in his eyes and suddenly, Rodney almost felt a pang of sympathy for whoever took John. Almost.

"I'll talk to Radek in private tomorrow," Rodney said, trying to keep back a yawn. "Between the two of us, we can get a fix."

"Tomorrow at lunch? Say about thirteen?" Elizabeth said. "The pictures looked like Genii work. I think they should be first on our list to interrogate -- and that might make perfect bait. I can do that before you and I fight, Rodney, say around nine-hundred?"

"I'll take external, then." Ronon looked at Elizabeth. "Would people believe I could be Sheppard's 2IC? Pick up his duties?"

She was nodding as Ronon spoke. "I don't see why not. You could be covering his duties off-world. We can 'decide' that tomorrow morning, before or after my argument with Rodney. In fact, you could start on P34-229 and go on from there, if necessary."

"It would be proper for Rodney to stay on Atlantis, since he would be in mourning," Teyla interjected quietly. "But I have a few contacts of my own, including Sora, who might be able to help."

"That's right, I'd forgotten she never went back to her homeworld," Elizabeth said. "Do you think she has any intel?"

"It would not hurt to check," Teyla said, a gentle smile playing on her lips. "I think, however, we should get this young lady to bed."

"'M not tired," Madison said, trying (and failing) to keep her eyelids up.

Ronon snorted in amusement. "Right." He walked over and scooped Madison up off the couch and carried her into her room. She wasn't so big yet that she couldn't be picked up, Rodney thought with a sigh, though Ronon was the only one big enough to do it.

"Shall we flip a coin for who gets to take which side?" He asked Elizabeth. Everyone was getting up, getting ready to leave. And it made sense for them to be here, too; everyone in the room was a good friend to the Miller-McKay-Sheppard household, and they would want to offer help in a time of need.

He had the best friends -- no, family -- in two galaxies. 

"Let's cast against type and have you insisting he's dead," Elizabeth said, giving Rodney a hug.

"Okay." 

Ronon returned to the room, grabbed Rodney's shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze before heading to the door. Lorne gave him a nod and a sympathetic smile. Carson gave him a strong hug too, giving him unspoken support, one friend to another. 

Teyla touched his forehead with hers and said, very softly, "We will get him back for you, Rodney."

"I know," Rodney whispered back. He couldn't trust his voice to speak louder.

After everyone had left, Rodney collapsed on the sofa. He was thinking it might be a good idea to sleep on the couch too, because he wasn't sure he wanted to face their big bed all alone. Madison stumbled out of her room, her pajamas twisted and her eyelids drooping shut. "Unca Mer?"

"You should be in bed," Rodney murmured thickly. He opened his arms and she snuggled up to him on the sofa.

"I know. Ronon promised me he would find Uncle John and bring him back." 

"Yeah. Teyla said the same." He sighed quietly. "I promise too, Three-M. We'll have to find him because he lives here with us and anything else would be wrong."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement -- Beelz was peeking around the corner of the hall behind the kitchen. When she saw no one else, she grumbled her way across the rug to jump on Rodney's lap, put her forepaws on his chest and meowed directly into his face.

"Christ, Beelz, enough with the fishbreath."

"Language, Uncle Mer," Madison said, her voice sad. "I think Beelz misses Uncle John too."

"Maybe." After a few minutes, he could tell she was nearly out. "C'mon Maddie, time for bed."

He couldn't carry her like Ronon, but he could hold her close as they walked to her bedroom. She fell on the bed and he pulled her sheet and blanket up to her chin, giving her a kiss on the forehead. She was asleep before he left the room.

Crossing the living room, Rodney walked into his bedroom and examined the bed. He shook his head; it wasn't going to work for him sleeping alone. So he changed into his 'Property of John Sheppard' t-shirt and a worn pair of sweatpants, did his nightly routine on autopilot, and headed back for the sofa. He was going to have an ache in his back tomorrow, he figured, but at least he could sleep.

He actually did make it to sleep, but in the middle of the night, when he heard Madison scream, he nearly broke something falling off the sofa. As he ran to Madison's room, he realized he'd only heard the one scream and when he turned on the lights, he found her sitting up in bed, her arms wrapped around her knees, shaking like a leaf. "Madison?!"

Her eyes were wide and terrified, her face whiter than her sheet. "I think... I think... they're hurting... hurting him..." The words lurched out of her mouth, tattered from sobs.

Rodney sank on the bed next to her and pulled her to him, tucking her head under his chin. He couldn't remember a time, not even after Jeannie's and Kaleb's death, when he'd felt so cold. "Hurting?" he whispered.

"I think... think they... Unca Mer, they're hurting him!"

Madison dissolved into tears as Rodney held her and prayed like he'd never prayed before.

* * *

John was lying on a cold, metal table, hurting. He'd had worse pain, he thought to himself, trying to cheer himself with black humor. When he'd had his wisdom teeth out, the small amount of time between swallowing the codeine and it kicking in had been sheer torture. He'd also been caught in a shrapnel storm when a pipe bomb had gone off close to his aircraft -- it left a lot of little scars, little scars and large pain, all over him. Rodney sometimes looked at them and kissed each one. 

But Rodney wasn't there.

It actually seemed to help that he was always cold, the cuts and tears in his skin hardly hurt at all. It was the deep hurts; the femur break, the rib from a hard kick, the tazers and whatever the hell they jammed up inside him, now, _those_ hurt.

'Dr.' Athor was indeed quite insane -- nuttier than a fruitcake, not all there, three tacos shy of a combination plate -- but was also so very gentle, so very intense while torturing John. "Try to articulate how you feel when I do this, please," he said as he used the tazer on John's skin. "It's for my research."

"Great," John muttered when he had his breath back, "I'm stuck in a hellhole with Count Rugen."

That made Athor pause. "I beg your pardon?" he said.

"At least you only have five fingers," John said as a reply. From his right eye, the only one that would open at the moment, he glared at the asshole. "What the hell did I ever do to you?" he demanded, his words slurring.

Athor blinked in shock. "Why, you killed my son, of course. Acastus told me all about it." His chin quivered and that horrible gleam came into his eyes -- John had learned, even in the short time they'd been together, to hate that gleam.

"I've killed a lot of people," he said. "And I should have killed Kolya while I had the chance. But I didn't, because I don't kill people in cold blood." Unless they're hurting my family or my city, he added in his head.

"My Idos... it was to be his first mission, we were all so proud!" He turned away, looking at something on the small table John couldn't quite see. "He was in charge of the second unit that was going to back up Acastus's team." He suddenly turned and glared at John. "Then you did something and he died, almost all of them died, and you did it."

It took John a couple of minutes to understand that statement; when he did, he said, "Oh. When I raised and locked the shield on the 'gate in Atlantis. Sorry, Inigo, but I was defending my family and my city. He got what he deserved."

That must not have been a very politically correct thing to say, because Athor went a little harder on John after that, nearly getting a scream out of him. But John had his pride (his stupid, stubborn, inexplicable pride, he heard in his head) and he wouldn't be performing for Kolya any time soon.

The voice that told him Rodney would find him was still there, but he was beginning to think Rodney would find him long after he was dead.

He still wouldn't scream, though.

* * *

The next day started early. Teyla came over to check in and Rodney told her what had happened the night before. She disappeared into Madison's room and Rodney sighed in relief, really not wanting to deal with that, not at all.

Radek was the next to arrive, knocking tentatively. When Rodney opened the door, he took a deep breath, certain what was coming. "Come in," he said, making sure the door was secure behind them. Radek opened his mouth to speak but Rodney cut him off. "It wasn't him," he said, his shoulders drooping. "But we thought it was, at first."

"What? Rodney, everyone is talking, saying--"

Rodney all but fell into one of the dining room chairs and put his head in his hands. "Some sick fuck went to a lot of time and trouble to make it look like John's dead. And we're almost positive it was that rat bastard Kolya." He scrubbed his face with his hands and made himself look up into Radek's stunned face.

Radek stood there for a while, blinking. After a few moments, he went into the kitchen and poured two large mugs of coffee. When he brought them back to the table, Rodney closed his eyes in gratitude. The coffee was fixed just the way he wanted it. "Then why haven't you--"

"There's more," Rodney said, again interrupting. "I was going to call you soon, anyway, because I'm going to need your help, we need to set a trap, and I don't think I can do it alone, but with your help, we should be able to... and I'm babbling." He shook his head. "I'm exhausted and then some. Caldwell thinks we have a 'mole,' someone who's working for that asshole Kolya."

Slowly, Radek's face turned from incredulous to angry as Rodney's words sank in. "A _spy_? Here in Atlantis? Who?!"

"We don't know, and there might not be one. I think even Caldwell is hedging his bets but he seems to feel it's pretty plausible. But that's why we're not being 'official' yet." He took another pull on his coffee. "Elizabeth and I are set to have a huge screaming fight around lunch time, for form's sake. Before that," he looked at his watch, "in about an hour or so, she's going to be calling the Genii. We're going to need to monitor all electronic traffic going through the 'gate at that time."

"I can do that. You need to rest, I think. Where's Madison?"

"In her bedroom with Teyla. That's the other part of it." In fits and starts, Rodney explained how Madison could 'feel' John, could 'feel' several people, in fact. "Teyla says it's just those she loves, cares about," he added. "But last night... it was rough. She says she can feel him hurting or being hurt."

Radek blinked, obviously stunned, as what Rodney said sank in. After a moment, he reached across the table and grabbed Rodney's forearm in a strong grip. "I've often thought she is a gift from God. I think this proves it. You're quite a lucky bastard, you know."

Rodney didn't have a clue how to answer that, except to silently agree. He really was a lucky bastard. He took a deep breath before proceeding. "Can you handle the minions? I'm a pretty good actor, but I don't even want to try to hold up any sort of facade today, especially after I have the 'argument' with Elizabeth."

"I understand." With one last squeeze, Radek nodded, gave him a look filled with sympathy. "We will get him back," he murmured.

"I know. Ronon's probably already off-world, terrorizing the natives. Lorne has the internal stuff. If there is someone, then it's somebody who regularly goes off-world. That lets out a portion of the civilian staff, at least."

"Unless it is two such people." Radek's mouth was a thin line and Rodney could tell he was furious. "I will go to labs now, let the rumors boil but not confirm anything. I will radio you and Elizabeth when I am ready."

Rodney nodded and finished his coffee. "I'm going to get a shower and change, see if I can't find some busy work to keep me occupied."

Radek stood and drained his own cup. "Don't worry about anything. And give Madison a hug from her Uncle Radek."

Half an hour later, while Rodney was trying to sort clothes into clean and dirty piles, Teyla emerged from Madison's bedroom. "I will be sending Jinto and Amaly over to wait with Madison," she said. "Jinto is old enough and responsible enough to be left alone with them, should the need arise."

Rodney nodded, it wasn't like the Athosian kids could be a security leak. "Okay. Radek was here, he's taking the 'gate traffic, he said he'd let Elizabeth know when he was ready."

"Good." She patted his shoulder. "I must go to the command room for Elizabeth's call to the Genii. Then I have some work of my own off-world. Do not worry about Madison, Rodney. She has the gift of the Ancestors, and that could not be given if she were not strong enough to handle it."

Rodney sighed. He certainly hoped so.

* * *

The passage of time was getting a little unclear to John. He was still cold, naked and hairless (and boy, he was really going to get Kolya for that) but he'd been in the brightly-lit, windowless cell for who knew how long. He was still on the metal table except now he had an IV line going in his arm. That alone should have made him feel better, but he was afraid Athor was going to spike it with some kind of hallucinogenic or worse. Unfortunately, he was too weak to rip it out.

He must have drifted into unconsciousness, because the next thing he knew, Kolya was standing in front of him, smirking. "Are you having a good time here, Sheppard?"

If John could have, he would have spit in Kolya's eye. As it was, he had to settle for a weak, one-eyed glare.

"I just wanted to keep you company while Athor is away. You see, we've captured a Wraith, finally, and Athor is working with it to see if he can weaken it sufficiently to use on you. It may take us a while."

"Take your time," John croaked. "I'll be sure to clear my calendar."

The mocking smirk faded from Kolya's face and was replaced by naked loathing, quickly hidden. "You still believe they're going to come get you, don't you?"

Well, duh, John thought.

"They aren't. In fact, I have it on good authority that Dr. McKay and that adorable little girl will be heading back to your home-world shortly."

Kolya just stood there, waiting for the information to sink into John. He wasn't going to get anything out of John, even though the idea of 'good authority' was enough to give John nightmares for years to come. They had a _spy_ in Atlantis? When he found out who it was, he was going to personally beat the jerk into the ground.

"Still no reaction, I see." Kolya shook his head and John imagined ripping it off his neck. With his _teeth_. "Well, enjoy your respite. I'm certain Athor will be back as soon as he can."

Kolya left and John thought, maybe eviscerating him with a dull spoon would be better.

* * *

When Rodney walked into Elizabeth's office around lunchtime, she gave him a quiet rundown of what had happened that morning. Radek monitored the call to the Genii and reported no problems, no one piggy-backing onto their data stream. Ronon left shortly after for Belkan hoping to get some intel there, and again, there was no carrier. Teyla left shortly after Ronon, and Elizabeth thought she'd be seeking out Sora. After that, there would be one more trip, one more chance to find out if they had a mole, when Elizabeth went to P34-229 to apologize to the Majester.

"So, what did the Genii say?" Rodney asked. He didn't have to act to show dejection, depression and anxiety in his body language.

"I talked to Radim," Elizabeth said, leaning forward in her chair. They were still speaking quietly. "He didn't seem altogether surprised but he said he'd try to get some information. I was careful to tell him we were merely investigating John's death and the wanted posters." She looked down for a moment, then added, "He did say something I believe to be the truth. I believe he thinks Kolya has gone insane."

Rodney frowned at her. "Really?"

"Yes. If that's the case, then we need--"

"To find John. Fast." He sighed and rubbed his forehead, hoping to get rid of the headache he could feel lurking there.

"Where's Madison?" Elizabeth asked after a few moments. 

"Home. Teyla brought Jinto and Amaly over from the mainland. They know, but won't say a word." He swallowed. "Last I saw they were engrossed in a cutthroat game of _Trouble_."

"Good. Teyla told me about... last night. What Madison said." She sighed -- they were all doing that a lot, lately, and it was beginning to bug the hell out of Rodney. "I need you to speak at length with Carson and Jennifer. Carson has some half-baked theories that she's a biological sport, a throw-back to the real Ancients."

"Great. That's just what I needed to hear."

It took them a few more minutes to discuss what the argument would be about, then they allowed their voices to rise, to turn into shouting and curses and anger. Finally Rodney bellowed he'd be leaving for Earth as soon as he could pack and stormed out of Elizabeth's office. Everyone in the command room turned away, avoided his gaze, but Rodney was amazed to see one or two of them surreptitiously wipe at tears.

Rodney's anger fueled him all the way back to the apartment, but once inside, it left him in a rush, left him worn out and drooping. The kids had abandoned board games for video games and reading. Madison stood and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I made lunch, Uncle Mer," she said, her voice low. 

"Thanks, Three-M." He squeezed her back for a long moment and she let him, didn't try to push him away. He didn't want to let go, but she was as freaked about the whole thing as he was. It wouldn't help to want to bundle her up in a stasis field and keep her with him all the time. When he reluctantly let go, he grabbed one of the sandwiches she'd made and ate, quickly and efficiently because if he didn't, he'd get weak and shaky. And he needed to be ready when they went to get John.

He was lying down, trying to maybe catch up on some sleep when he heard pounding on the door. He found Radek and Elizabeth standing on the other side, both of them grinning fiercely. "We've got him!" she said, and Rodney felt like collapsing in relief.

* * *

Teyla returned while they were gearing up and joined them. She had leads to three or four possible worlds and locations; one of them matched where they were going. "What has happened?" she asked, pulling ordinance and weapons from her locker.

"Carrier signal intercepted when Weir went to P34-229. It was a marine," Ronon said. "You know what homophobia is?"

Teyla froze. "Yes." She gave Rodney a wide-eyed look that he couldn't meet for more than a second. "Kolya compromised one of the _marines_? Because the man did not like certain relationships?"

Lorne came in as she was speaking, to pick up some more C4 and weapons for the 'jumper. "He's going back to Earth to face charges of treason, the bastard," he said, rifling through another locker for ammo. "I've got him in irons and in isolation because if I didn't, he'd have been torn apart. There's even a half-baked rumor that we should stake him out on some planet where the Wraith could get to him."

Rodney didn't speak, because if he did, he'd say too much. There was a big part of him that really loved the idea of staking the asshole out for the Wraith... and that really wasn't him. But he still wanted it, on some level, and he'd have to talk about it with someone, later. Once John was back.

Teyla put her hand on his arm as he stuffed more ammo into one of the pockets on his vest. "Are you all right?" she asked softly. "Where is Madison?"

He nodded, his head jerking up and down. "I've been better. Maddie is with Radek and Ewri."

Carson came dashing in as Rodney spoke. "I'm not too late?" he gasped, putting his medical supplies on the floor and grabbing a tac vest. 

"You sure you want to come?" Ronon asked, looking at Carson sharply.

"Yes." That's all Carson said and Ronon nodded. 

"Okay, let's talk about this," Rodney finally said, keeping his hands from shaking by checking and rechecking his vest pockets. "Four marines, only those we know and trust."

Lorne came back into the room as Rodney spoke and said, "They're aboard. The 'jumper is loaded."

"Good. Surgical strike, right? In and out as fast as possible. Ronon, you pointing?"

"Yeah. Just stay behind me."

"I will as long as you don't miss." Ronon snorted in laughter and gave Rodney a clout on the shoulder.

"We're ready," Rodney said, giving Carson a quick look.

"I'm ready, Rodney," he said and they all left the ready room for the 'jumper bay.

The planet was heavily forested and the only indigenous population was clear on the other side of the world from the stargate. Lorne piloted while Rodney watched the HUD and his laptop for life-signs. They had been directed to an underground bunker set partway in a rocky ridgeline, about ten minutes from the 'gate. Teyla could confirm their intel was good, and she had something better -- a rough sketch of the interior of the building.

"It was used as a research facility by the Genii, a place to test weapons, interrogate prisoners and other... things." She was sitting behind Lorne, and as Rodney turned to see her, she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Sora did not wish to go into further detail."

Rodney acknowledge the gibbering terror her words gave him, acknowledged and put it firmly aside. He had a job to do and he was going to do it.

The HUD sonar gave them a rough picture of the underground facility, which was quite extensive. It also found several round things with metal covers -- some kind of ventilation, he inferred, all heavily covered in vegetation. Even right next to them they were nearly impossible to spot. They landed in the 'jumper and left it cloaked, making sure to blaze a half-hidden path to it. Rodney pulled out his life-signs detector and scanned the area. "We're clear, nothing for a long way."

Lorne had his own detector and nodded agreement.

Ronon went first with Teyla. The four marines brought up their six and Rodney went with Carson and Lorne, but within nudging distance of the leaders. There was still nothing on the detector.

They walked for a good ten minutes, their boots hardly making a sound on the rough concrete of the floor. Eventually, the dusty corridor they were in met another, one brightly lit and obviously more used. Teyla indicated they should go left. Rodney tapped Ronon and gestured them to fall back. "Would it be worth it to find and destroy their power source?" he asked, barely audible.

Ronon and Lorne looked at each other for a while. "I don't think so, not yet, anyway," Ronon finally said. "Are we clear of personnel?"

"I've got one blip; left, about a hundred yards."

"Knife work. If they've got a radio thing, that would be good to have too."

Lorne went with Ronon and a few minutes later, the blip was gone. Teyla motioned for them to continue, keeping the marines on their six. There was, indeed, a type of walkie-talkie, and Lorne took it as Ronon took his knife back, cleaning it on the man's uniform.

They continued their stealthy invasion through three more guards. It was easy to see that they were moving in the right direction from the amount of life-signs that kept popping up. Finally, they stopped, just out of sight of a large room filled with people. It looked like a mess hall or something similar. They wouldn't be able to fight their way through that, stealthy or not, so they pulled back into a room further back from the area to discuss strategies. 

Rodney listened with half an ear while he examined what was evidently a storage room they were in. Lorne was advocating explosives but Ronon said it couldn't be delivered without a full scale alert.

"Ductwork." Rodney pointed up as everyone turned to him. "Ductwork, probably HVAC. Teyla, would you fit in there? With a bit of C4?"

She looked where he was indicating and turned back to him wearing a feral smile. "I most certainly can."

It only took five minutes. Ronon boosted her into the duct and she slithered in, carrying a small bundle of explosive with a timer in it. When she returned, they got into position around the corner from the room and Lorne whispered, "Fire in the hole," before lighting it up.

It destroyed the large room and a good chunk of the corridor outside it, creating such smoke and confusion that they were able to slip past without being noticed. Teyla took point, directing them to a section much cleaner and neater than what they'd seen before; the smoke from the explosion followed them. There were doors on either side of the hallway, all of them with large, complicated locks and a small window for viewing. Cells. That's what they were, and Rodney started running from one to the other, looking through the glass, finding them all empty. Ronon grabbed his shoulder and shook his head, glowering him into calm. After a second, Rodney nodded. They'd find John.

The alarm system was blaring from the explosion so they didn't have a lot of time. They got to a junction of corridors and startled three guardsmen, jogging towards the explosion, evidently. Ronon only paused long enough to retrieve his knives and pull their bodies into a convenient empty room. 

Rodney looked down the corridor they'd been in and saw what looked like a guard-post or research station, deserted in the emergency. He slapped Ronon's shoulder and tugged him down the hall. Lorne directed the marines to fan out, making sure the area was clear, while Rodney searched the Genii primitive computers for a directory. He was glad he'd had a chance to play with the shitty things in the past so he knew, pretty well, where to look and what to look for.

The place was laid out in a grid, wasn't so big as to be unmanageable, and it didn't take Rodney long to find what he was looking for -- and more. He grabbed Ronon and Teyla, showed them the map of the place he'd found. "Here," he said, his words soft. "Down that corridor. And here," he pointed to a place several corridors over from John's cell, "power stations and what looks like labs or offices." Before they could leave, Rodney reached under the console and tore out a bunch of wires, creating sparks and killing the laughable 'computer.'

"What are you doing?" Lorne hissed.

"Disabling their comm system," Rodney whispered. "So unbelievably archaic it gives me a headache. Now, they won't be able to talk with their radios and they won't be able to hear us on ours."

"Good." Ronon lifted his hand and they headed out. With the marines again taking their six, they ran down the proper corridor and found the right door, but it wouldn't open.

Ronon tried kicking it in, but that didn't work. Finally, afraid they were going to be noticed any minute, Lorne pulled out his nine-mil and blew the mechanism out. It didn't leave that much of a mark, so they all piled in and closed the door, as quickly as possible in case anyone heard the shot over the alarm blaring.

"Oh, Ancestors," Teyla breathed and Rodney turned and saw John.

John was strapped to a metal table, naked. There was an IV in one arm and his head had been shaved. He was covered with bruises, small open sores and what looked like burn marks. There was some kind of ineffectual brace on his left thigh. Shaking with rage, Rodney ground out, "Ronon. Knife."

The knife Ronon gave him was gory with blood but Rodney didn't care. He cut through the rope binding John's hands and the wide leather straps around his ankles, abdomen and neck. Carson was on him in a heartbeat, checking his vitals, removing the IV line. "I've got to keep this," he muttered, making sure to stow the bag. He looked at the splint thing as Rodney took John's lax hand, whispering reassurances, none of which were heard. John was out, and from the look of things, that was good.

"We need to get him out of here," Ronon said. "He can't walk?"

"No, and it looks like his left femur is broken. Let me get it into a better brace, then we'll have to carry him back." As quickly as he spoke, Carson removed the old brace and put an inflatable one on John's leg instead. 

"We're going to need a diversion," Lorne said, keeping a sharp eye on the corridor. "Power supply?"

"Yeah, and those offices, or whatever they are. I don't think we're going to be alone much longer." Ronon nodded. "Carson. You stay in here with McKay and Teyla while--"

"No way in hell," Rodney interrupted, his voice low and rough. "I'm going with you." If he stayed in the room with John, he knew he'd be returning with a pony nuke to get rid of everything. It was safer for him to go.

Ronon stared at him for a beat then nodded. "Okay. Teyla, you and Johnston stay here. Lorne, you take Petrie and Grass, go for that power source. McKay, Anderson, you're with me. Keep in touch, short bursts only, three minute timer."

They slipped into the corridor. Tendrils of smoke were still flowing on the ceiling and the alarm was still blaring but they didn't see anyone. They split up at the major corridor down from the cell, Lorne and his team going left, Ronon's going straight and right. Rodney stayed between Ronon and the marine, Anderson, while watching his life-signs detector and feeding them cues. Occasionally they would hear groups of soldiers thundering down other corridors, but they were never sighted. Their luck was still holding, but Rodney knew the longer they were there, the greater the chance it would run out. Lorne checked in, confirmed his group was at the power center and had eliminated all personnel there.

The block wasn't just offices, there were labs too, but Rodney didn't really care. There were only two objectives on his horizon -- getting John to safety and killing Kolya, if possible.

They got to a junction of corridors and Ronon slapped Rodney's back, pointed him left. He indicated he would take the middle and Anderson the right. The doors along Rodney's corridor were less frequent, some of them slightly open, apparently living quarters, at least that's what he thought. Rodney crept down the hallway, his eyes on his life-signs detector, his hand on his gun. He saw two dots, directly ahead of him, behind the door at the end of the corridor, which was ajar. Before going further, he put his package of C4 with the detonator on the sill above it, where it wouldn't be immediately noticeable. 

He heard voices. "A _what_?" Rodney tensed; that was Kolya's voice.

"Uh... it seems to be a security breach, sir." That would be the other dot. He sounded nervous. "We've found blood in a few places and several guardsmen have gone missing, and... uh... the communication nexus is non-functional..."

Rodney hesitated, listening, trying to figure out what would be the right time. "I didn't need your brilliant thoughts to deduce that," Kolya said. "Fine. If it's a security breach then I want to find out who is responsible. You're with me."

As he heard Kolya speak, Rodney took a deep breath and kicked the door open, going in low, just as John, Ronon and Teyla had taught him. The first thing he saw was the young guardsman who was with Kolya; not letting himself think, Rodney drew his gun and killed the man, distantly surprised his aim was perfect. Kolya had his hand on his gun but Rodney shot it away, which made Kolya spin away from him, dropping to one knee on the floor. 

"Don't move again or it'll be all over for you," Rodney said, trying desperately to keep his voice from shaking. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so angry, but he didn't let it overwhelm him. He kicked the body of the guardsman out of the way and pushed the door shut, covering his six.

"Dr. McKay?" Kolya's eyes grew wide in astonishment. "How extraordinary. I was hoping to see you, but not this soon. Were you the cause of all the commotion outside? What are you doing here?"

"Saving Sheppard and killing you." It was hard not to just put a bullet between the asshole's eyes, but Rodney found he wanted more than a quick death for Kolya. Making sure he was out of reach, Rodney added, "This ends now. Stand up."

Kolya gave him an incredulous smirk, but he stood, slowly, cradling his right arm. It looked like Rodney got more than his hand. "This ends? How are you going to do that? I have close to a hundred men here--"

"Most of whom are dead. We _are_ the cause of the commotion. And now, we're going to leave, with Sheppard, and you're going to go to hell like you should have years ago." 

"And who is going to send me there, you?" Kolya obviously didn't believe him, though Rodney thought he saw a little worry on the man's face. 

"Yeah. Me. Keep your hands -- what's left of them -- where I can see them." 

Kolya's eyes narrowed. "And if I don't?"

"Then I just shoot you now and leave."

"This isn't like you, Dr. McKay. I find it hard to believe you have the strength of purpose to kill me in cold blood." Even as he said that, he glanced at the guardsman on the floor next to him.

"You made it easy." Coldly taking aim, Rodney shot Kolya, just above his knee. He fell to the floor with a low cry and Rodney's radio went live with Ronon's voice. "McKay? Check in!"

Rodney touched his radio. "Sorry, I'm done."

"Me too," he heard Lorne say, followed by Anderson and a few others.

"Good. Back to the cell on the double."

Rodney turned off his radio at Ronon's words and looked down at Kolya, slumped in a widening circle of blood. "I hit a major artery, I think, that was where I was aiming. I figure you'll bleed out within a half hour or so," he said, his voice still shaking slightly. "But let's make sure of it." The gun was absolutely steady in his hands as he aimed at Kolya's belly and fired. Kolya fell back, his head hitting the hard floor with a crack. "I wish I could make it longer, make you linger, you bastard, for what you did to Sheppard. But we've got a job to do, so I'll leave you waiting and bleeding until we blow this place apart. Enjoy your death." 

He walked to the door and noted it was lockable from the inside. Before opening the door slightly to check the corridor, which was empty, he engaged the lock. "McKay," Kolya gasped, trying to move and failing. "McKay!"

Rodney gave him one last cold look before closing the door.

On the way back to the cell, he heard gunfire and figured their luck had finally run out. Ronon came running out of his hallway, firing behind himself, and Anderson was limping, Rodney could see blood on his leg. "Nothing bad," he said, turning to cover their six.

Lorne was pinned down at another juncture but they hadn't been expecting another group from behind them. Ronon took down most and Anderson the rest and just like that, they were on the way back to the cell. The entire compound was buzzing with people stampeding everywhere and Rodney wondered how the hell they were going to get out of this one. 

"Can we light it up from here? Will we be able to see?" Ronon asked, checking through the door, which was cracked open. Smoke was filling the entire complex.

"I saw emergency lights and a backup generator," Rodney said. "Do it."

Lorne didn't have to be told twice. He pulled the transmitter out and punched it. Rodney tried to count, but if it was six different explosions, he wasn't able to tell. The entire room swayed slightly, the lights went out and four flashlights went on. They heard distant screaming and the smoke thickened, sneaking in through the door, which they kept slightly open. While they waited for the chaos to spread, Rodney went back to John. Carson had him covered with a light, thermal blanket but he still looked horrible. "Carson?"

"He's going to be fine, Rodney," Carson said with a sigh. "The damage isn't all that extensive. But I would like to get him home as quickly as possible."

"Ronon, Teyla? Lorne?" Leaving the marines at the door, the three of them came to the back of the room at Rodney's request. "We need a way out of here," Rodney said, keeping his voice low. "Ronon, you're going to have to carry him back."

"Yeah. Let me do a little recon and see what's happening." 

"Be careful," Rodney said and Ronon rolled his eyes. "I mean it, no hot-dogging. We need you too much."

"Nicest thing you ever said to me, McKay," Ronon rumbled, pretty obviously fighting a smile.

"Don't expect it to happen again!" Rodney shook his head in the face of Ronon's smirk. "Give us a path and then Lorne can take point with Teyla on our six. Lorne? The marines? Can they stay on our six or what? And how are we on ammo?"

"Halved," Lorne said. "Two each. Ammo is fine, C4 is low but that doesn't matter." Ronon nodded at Lorne's words and slipped out. 

"Good. We're good, then, I think."

"Rodney, what are you on about?" Carson asked, giving him an incredulous look.

Blinking, Rodney realized what he had been saying and doing for the last... however long it had been. And he had killed Kolya and some other guy who had just gotten in his way... he wondered idly if one or both of them would come back to haunt him. "I... I was doing, you know, we need to..."

"Carson, no offense, but shut up," croaked a much-loved voice. They all turned to John in shock. "Rodney's field trained and you aren't. McKay. Report."

"Why the hell are you even _awake_?" Rodney demanded in a voice as soft as he could make it, ignoring the tremor in it. "Go back under or I swear I'll hit you on the head with a brick!" There was moisture on Rodney's face and he swiped it away.

"S'okay, Rodney, report, c'mon." 

Taking a deep breath, Rodney said, "Fine. Except for one stupid ex-military twit, we're doing okay. We lit up the power nexus and have already killed half or more of the complement here. Ronon's finding us a way back."

"Kolya?" John asked before gratefully sipping the water Carson held for him. 

"Not an issue any more," Rodney said, still pissed that John was even _awake_. He noted and dismissed Teyla's and Lorne's shock over his words. "Now, Mr. Alpha-male, would you _please_ go back under? Getting you out is going to be a pain in your ass."

"Okay." John managed to lift his left hand and Rodney took it, cradled it, and promised himself a nice, long, nervous breakdown sometime in the near future. But first, he put John's wedding ring back where it belonged.

* * *

They cleared the compound and got John out without a hitch. Kolya had said he had almost a hundred men; Rodney was pretty sure most of them were dead by the time their force got back to the 'jumper. He heard Anderson say something about a captive Wraith killing Genii but Rodney didn't even care. He just stayed down and cradled John to himself.

Later on, listening to Ronon, Lorne and Teyla report, he realized the entire raid had taken place in just over forty-five minutes. It felt like much, much longer than that while he was in it. They hadn't even missed dinner, for God's sake.

Carson managed to keep John in the infirmary for close to two days before kicking him out and charging him with bed-rest. John came home with a pair of crutches and the attitude that he was going to be fine in a couple more hours, an idea he was disabused of within an hour. Madison had created a nest for him on his bed and refused to let him get up except for bathroom breaks... and she called Rodney when he wanted one of those. Rodney was certain it was driving John crazy, but if it worked, if it kept the flyboy down, he was all for it.

Rodney filled John in on what Madison had done and he was pretty sure he'd never forget the look on John's face while hearing it. "Radek calls her a gift from God, and also says that we're a couple of lucky bastards." Rodney had to look away. "I can't find it in me to dispute him."

The worst of the injuries was the leg. Within a few days of their return, the sores and burn marks had begun to heal; more importantly (to John), his hair was beginning to grow back. Madison teased him by running her hand over his head and calling him _Curious George_ , something that made John roll his eyes and try for a tickle attack.

As he improved, he held court, entertaining visitors. Caldwell was one of the first to come by. He was still in a wheelchair and told John what happened to the asshole marine who had started the whole thing. He had been taken through the 'gate to Earth the day after John was rescued. Rodney wasn't in the bedroom, but they weren't whispering. From what he heard, Caldwell had managed to find some good out of the nasty episode. "It's actually been a pretty good litmus test," Caldwell had said as Rodney worked at the table. "I'm going to be _recommending_ re-assignment to several military adjuncts. I wish we hadn't had this whole mess in quite the way we did..."

"You and me both," John had replied. Rodney had almost forgotten that Caldwell had also been injured due to that asshole's machinations. Rodney hoped undergoing a military trial for treason would be worse than being fed on by the Wraith, but he thought it probably wasn't.

Several times, John tried to talk about what happened during the rescue (he claimed to be pretty hazy on most of it) and Rodney found a way to change the subject. Rodney tried to talk to John about his abuse and the horrible things he'd endured and John would change the subject or claim exhaustion. Kate Heightmeyer had been eyeing both of them and Rodney was afraid that they would have to see her, eventually. Especially as she was apparently getting personal updates from Madison.

A week after John's rescue, Ronon and Teyla invited themselves to dinner, bringing food prepared on the mainland. Madison had been deposited on the mainland for a sleep-over so that the adults could enjoy a nice, quiet evening. The food was just as good as Rodney remembered, and even John, whose appetite had been iffy since returning, tucked away quite a lot. 

It was good to feel like part of the team again, the _real_ team -- Sheppard, McKay, Emmagan and Dex. Rodney hadn't realized how very much he'd missed it... they all knew each other so well. Rodney had been away for two years but he slipped back into the groove with almost no trouble at all, and even now, when they couldn't go on missions as a team, they still had it. They'd been through a lot together: they still had the give and take, the teasing, the laughter. Still had the sad memories of Ford. Still had the trouble radar and, what was worse, still had the virtual telepathy between them. At least Teyla waited until dessert to get them going.

"Rodney, Elizabeth has informed me that your report of our last mission appeared to be... incomplete. Why would she feel that way?"

Rodney tried to glare at her, but her Teflon outer shell was as good as his own. "What's to tell? We went in, we got John, killed a lot of Genii who are better off dead anyway, and got out."

He didn't miss the pointed look Ronon and Teyla shared. "There was quite a bit more to it than that, Rodney," she said reprovingly.

John ran his hand over his head; it was still a shock to see him nearly bald. And Madison was right, he did look like _Curious George_. "Y'know, I'd kinda like to know what happened too," he said. "First really clear memory I have is being flopped over Ronon's shoulder."

Just a few minutes ago, Rodney was reveling in the way they still fit together, now he was cursing it. They weren't going to let him out of it, he knew it. "As I said earlier, what's to tell?"

"You can start with the reason why you said Kolya wasn't a problem any more." Ronon was back to being pretty taciturn and Rodney was beginning to miss the chatty team leader. 

"I didn't say that." He folded his arms across his chest.

"That is correct; you said Kolya was not an _issue_ any more." Teyla gave him the look he was coming to know better; it was an 'I am here for you' crossed with 'don't even _think_ about lying to me' look.

Rodney sighed, studied the ceiling, tried to keep from leaping to his feet and heading for the balcony at a full run. "Do I have to?" he asked softly. He didn't have to look at them to know the answer. "Okay, fine. Kolya isn't an issue because the shithead is dead. And yes, I'm sure he is, because I shot him, twice, shot his damn knee out and put a bullet in his belly after putting a load of C4 over his door, after which I locked him in."

"Sounds like the target practice stood you pretty well," Ronon said.

"Oh, I don't know, the first time I was aiming for his balls. Got a little too low." Rodney pulled his gaze off the ceiling and on the table in front of him. He still couldn't meet anyone's gaze.

There was silence at the table for several minutes, and Rodney wasn't about to break it. Finally, John did, in a voice which sounded odd. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I did. You asked, I told you."

"That's not the same thing, Rodney."

Rodney waved his hand irritably. "Whatever. If you want to find a real hero, look at yourself, look at Madison, not me."

"I disagree," Teyla said softly. 

"It doesn't matter if you disagree or not. Besides, it's over and we won't have to worry about that waste of air any more." Their table was really getting worn. Maybe they should plan a trip to Ikea to get a new one, soon.

This time, the silence was only broken by Beelz, sneaking a peek into the apartment and turning around, complaining her way back to Rodney's office. It wasn't a _bad_ silence, per se, but it wasn't comfortable, either.

"I wouldn't scream."

Rodney almost jumped in surprise at the sound of John's barely-breathed words. His gaze came up off the table to look at John, who was inspecting the table as carefully as Rodney had. "What?" Rodney asked, since it was impossible to say nothing.

"He wanted me to scream, said he was looking forward to it. I wouldn't." With obvious reluctance, John dragged his head up to look at Rodney, though he could only hold it for a moment before turning away again. "They'd found another Wraith, said they were going to use it on me. As an 'experiment.' The guy who... who tortured me, name was Athor, he was completely mad. Kept asking me to be honest, to tell him how it felt to have the Pegasus version of a tazer shoved up my ass."

"Is he the one who got the Wraith? Anderson said he saw that guy being fed on, before we lit it up." Both John and Rodney turned to Ronon in surprise.

"Yeah, he was supposed to be 'working' with it to make it more 'manageable' and I am really, really glad you got me out of there before that." John swallowed hard but still couldn't look directly at Rodney.

"We are all very glad to have gotten you out of that place, John." She reached out with her hands and took theirs; her hands were dry and warm. "We have been forcibly reminded of the importance of family in this crisis." She looked at Ronon, across from her, then at John and finally at Rodney. "It is not the only good thing to have happened, but it is the best part of it."

With a sigh, Rodney finally managed to meet Teyla's gaze. She smiled gently at him then they both turned to John, who finally nodded. 

They were going to be okay. It might take a while, but they were going to be okay.

end


End file.
